


From Ashes

by ghostfawn



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Age Difference, Anxiety, Blackwatch, Depression, F/M, Family Loss, Female Reader, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Plot, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Fall of Overwatch, Reader cries a lot, Reader is an empath, Reader-Insert, Relationship(s), Slow Burn, Survivor Guilt, War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2018-11-08 23:13:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11091909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostfawn/pseuds/ghostfawn
Summary: You're a young adult ravaged by the Omnic war.  After discovering you amongst the bodies of your family, Jack Morrison brings you back to the Overwatch base to have your injuries treated.  With no one for you left in the world, it is there that you make the decision for your future and seek the safety and comfort that you've lost.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic!!! I loved writing but stopped for a while, so this is going to be my motivation to start writing again! my writing skills are very rusty, so I'm hoping to improve them over time. I'm a little nervous posting this because it's been so long since I've written something and I don't know where exactly I'm going with the plot yet ;__; but either way, I hope it's enjoyable!!!

Where are you? What happened?

Clouds of brown, white, and yellow obscure your vision. The shapes shift and melt into each other, creating an ever-flowing river of blurring colors. The only sound that fills your ears is a constant ringing. You feel your arms contorted below you, your elbows digging into your ribs. Bits of gravel are lodged into your palms and knees. You feel a strange warmth on your stomach and a crushing weight on your back.

* * *

You remember hearing an alert from your local news station. Your family was watching it together on the television in the den while you watched outside through the window in the kitchen. You remember being called into the den, but you stayed at the window, horrified but frozen. There was no doubt in anyone's mind that this was coming. Then an explosion. You felt the ground shake. A roar was released into the air and it tore through the space between the individual hairs on your head. It rattled through your bones and hissed through your pores. For a moment, the explosion became a part of you.

* * *

Your vision began to return to you. You were immediately hit by the radiant rays of the sun mixed with stinging clouds of smoke. Without moving your body, you look around. The walls of your home are gone. You tried to move, but felt yourself pinned down. Craning your neck, you look behind you. You feel the urge to vomit burning at your esophagus. Your family has taken the brunt of the explosion. Their bodies lay scattered around you, the wall separating the den and the kitchen litters them and yourself like a sick garnish. Tears stream down your face and you start to choke. You follow the blood trail leaking from their bodies, and connect it to the crimson warmth underneath you. You can feel your reddened clothes sticking to your skin. Unsure if it's due to the trauma of seeing your family dead before you, or the shock of being caught in an explosion, your vision blurs once again and you lie your head down, shutting your eyes.

* * *

You begin to stir due to distant shouting. Before your eyes are even open, you start screaming. You scream as if you hope to break your windpipes. You want to be heard, saved. You don't want this to be your final memory. If anyone around you were alive, they would hear the crunching of rubble, but your own screams continue to pound against your eardrums. Armored boots stop in front of you. You become silent. Squinting, you look up. A pair of blue eyes gaze down at you. The eyes then observe the scene behind you. You recognize this man, but your perception is at a loss. You feel him push the debris off your back. He gently flips you onto your back, and then tucks an arm under your knees, and cradled your head with his other hand. He pulls you up and close to him. Leaning into his chest, you feel cool metal against your cheek. You watch as the bloodied bodies of your loved ones grow distant. You break down in the man's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the Overwatch base.

Your body jolts, and your eyes snap open. Your fingers twitch as you feel the rhythmic beat of your rapid pulse. Breathing deep and heavy, you look around. You're in a room with a white ceiling and walls. Monitors of all sizes litter the room. You tilt your body to get a better view, and find yourself to be lying down on a narrow bed. Railings are on either side, to keep you from rolling off. You feel a slight resistance in your arm, and see yourself connected to an IV with a mysterious yellow substance traveling through the tube. You look down at your arms. They're painted with deep bruises and large cuts. A monitor beeps in tune to your pulse; it seems to be slowing down to normal. You gasp as you hear two figures shift beside you. How long have they been there?

"Good evening. I'm happy to see that you're awake." The accented voice belongs to a woman. Her blonde hair is tied back and her blue eyes look into yours. Her face is soft and cherubic, and she wears a gentle smile. The woman is dressed in a white lab coat and she holds a thin tablet. She is quite pleasant to look at, and looking at her somewhat quells your unease. Her expression shifts to concern mixed with sympathy. "Do you know what happened?"

You turn your head and look down. Your mind is foggy and your throat is dry. Your attention is drawn to the other figure as they begin to speak.

"Your house was bombed," he begins. His tone is very matter-of-fact. In his voice, you can hear the countless years of military training. You remember this man. You remember him pulling you from the rubble that was once your home. You also remember him from somewhere else, but you can't think at the moment. "As you know, I'm sure, tensions have been high between humans and Omnics in your home town. We were on a mission to ease these tensions when bombs were dropped onto human homes. Your home was one of the last to be hit. Thankfully for you, the point of impact was the back of your house, and you were able to survive the blast." You can't help but feel ... not thankful. Your eyes drop as you remember the images of your deceased family. You survived, barely, but you can't help but feel that you'd have been better off dying with them. At this very moment, your existence is a fluke. Your house was hit in a failed way that you ended up surviving. You feel twinges of guilt. You're not supposed to be here. How are you to go on? When the man sees your face contort into a pained expression and your eyes begin to water, he decides to change the subject. "What's your name?"

You look at him. He has blonde hair like the woman next to him. He's quite tall and built, and his voice is gruff. He's dressed in a blue overcoat with protective armor on his body. There is a symbol on his chest. That symbol, that's ...

After a moment of your mind drifting around in the fog, you remember that you were just asked a question. You tell the man your name. The blonde woman types something into her tablet.

"Your date of birth?" She asks. You're old enough to serve in the military in your country, but young enough to still be considered a young adult. Dr. Ziegler types into her tablet again.

"Do you know where you are?" The man asks. You shake your head. Upon this, he continues, "you're at the Overwatch base. My name is Jack Morrison -- Commander Morrison -- and this is Dr. Angela Ziegler." Overwatch! You've read stories about Overwatch, and you remember seeing photos of this man in news articles. Dr. Ziegler nods and smiles at you.

"I've looked over your injuries, and despite cuts and bruises, your injuries are not fatal or restricting of movement. After a few days here in our hospital, you should be well enough to conduct daily activities." Dr. Ziegler assured you. That was something that concerned you. What were you going to do now that you had no one to go home to?

As if reading your mind, Commander Morrison speaks. "On that subject, what would you like to do? There are facilities around the world dedicated to help those affected by the war. You would have access to clothing, a bed, and meals every day, as well as medical and psychiatric staff." You look down. Could that be the place for you? "Or," he began again, "you could receive military or medical training here and become a member of Overwatch. You would have access to everything as you would in the other facilities, and more." He smiles. It seems he had made his mind up for you. Come to think of it, there is something about joining Overwatch that sounds appealing to you. Of the members you've met so far, they seem very welcoming and friendly. Right now, you really need nurturing. You're not sure if the other facilities would provide that. Seeing your introspection, Commander Morrison adds, "you don't need to make the decision now. Take some time to think about it."

You shake your head. You have experienced such crushing loss, and you're certainly not going to be the last one to go through something like this. The monitor measuring your pulse begins to beep more frequently. If you can help it, you want to do your absolute best to make sure that no one has to go through something like this again. Tears well up and blur your vision. Your cheeks and nose begin to flush. With a sniffle, you express your interest in joining Overwatch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my best to write everyone in-character, I hope they're okay!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mysterious man decides to welcome you.

It has been several days since your arrival at the Overwatch base. You continued to be treated by Dr. Ziegler. She asks you of your past and hobbies. She is an empathetic being like yourself, and you find her presence comforting. She feels almost like a maternal figure to you. Your heart hurts when you catch yourself thinking that. How inconsiderate of you to replace your own mother. Guilt stinging you, you look up when the door opens and someone you haven't met before walks in.

It is a man, and he is carrying a tray with food. You were quite used to this. Upon hearing of your arrival, several Overwatch agents stopped by to meet you. You felt very welcomed; perhaps this was the right decision. However, as the man at the door walks closer, your heart sinks a bit. He's very ... intimidating. He is dressed in dark clothing and is wearing body armor. He has on a hoodie and tight pants, and is wearing a knit hat. His attire looks to be more casual than the other agents. The symbol on his clothing is different. He is very tall like Commander Morrison, but is a lot bigger. His shoulders are incredibly wide, and the tray he is holding looks tiny in his large grasp. His expression is the opposite of welcoming; his eyes are focused on you, his mouth straight and his brows furrowed. He lies the tray down over your lap in your hospital bed. For a while, he just stares at you. You dare not blink.

"So, you're the new recruit everyone is talking about." His voice is powerful and fills the room; he speaks at you instead of to you. When you don't respond, he continues, "Jack -- Commander Morrison -- told me that I should come greet you." He stares at you again. "I'm Commander Reyes. Contrary to popular belief around here, I'm just as in charge as Morrison." He smirks in Dr. Ziegler's direction. She shakes her head disapprovingly. He bends his knees down, resting his hands on them. He is now eye level with you, and is examining you. "Don't talk much, do you?"

"Leave her alone Gabriel," Dr. Ziegler scolds.

Commander Reyes smirks again. "What? I'm just welcoming the new recruit." He returns his gaze to you.

"I'm sorry ..." you stutter your words and trail off. Your voice is so weak in front of this man.

"Sir," Reyes adds.

"I'm sorry, sir," you correct yourself.

Reyes glances down at the food tray. "Eat." It doesn't sound like a suggestion.

On your tray are buttered, fluffy waffles drizzled with maple syrup, and topped with a bit of powdered sugar. They had already been cut up for you. You really are in the mood for something sweet. With a small smile, you begin to eat.

"That's it." Reyes pats you roughly on the back with a protest from Dr. Ziegler.

"Don't be so rough with her!"

Ignoring Ziegler, Reyes stands back up. He looks at you once more. Intently. Why does he keep looking at you like that? With a simple wave to both you and Ziegler, he exits the room and shuts the door behind him. There's something about that man ... You're not sure what that something is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like my interpretation of Gabe!! it's based on how he is in the comics. I hope to develop him more!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your wounds are healed, but Dr. Ziegler feels you need to rest more. Commander Reyes pays you another visit.

The following day, you awake once again in your hospital bed. Your injuries are fully healed, but Dr. Ziegler insists you rest for a little while longer. Being honest with yourself, it feels nice to have her in the room with you. If you had been put into your own room right after your injuries had healed, you're not sure if you could handle it. It's hard to sleep at night. You often wake up in the middle of the night, sweating and shaking. Your dreams are tinted red with the blood of your loved ones. When she sees you wake in such a way, Dr. Ziegler changes your sheets and brings you a new gown. You've grown accustomed to sleeping with a cool cloth resting on your forehead.

You stare at the ceiling, lost in thought. It takes you a moment to work through your groggy mind to sense the presence of someone next to your bed. With tired eyes, you turn your head to look at them. To your surprise, it's Commander Reyes.

Once again, he is staring at you. His expression is tense and focused. This time he is seated in a chair. How long had he been here ... watching you? You expect him to speak, but he remains silent. You sit up, leaning on your elbows, not breaking eye contact. Reyes' fingers are locked together and his chin is resting on them. You feel your heart rate start to increase. His stare feels as if it's chipping away at you. Why is he doing this? You look away as tears well in your eyes, quite embarrassed to cry in front of the commander.

"What do you want to eat?" He finally asks. The question sounds more like a statement.

You blink away your tears before you look at him again. You can only imagine how pathetic you look under his gaze. "I ... really liked the waffles I had yesterday." Your voice hushed, it cracks with nearly every word.

Without speaking, Reyes nods and exits the room. You can't help but think of how vastly different Commander Morrison and Commander Reyes are.

Dr. Ziegler smiles at you. "He's a bit rough around the edges, but Gabriel is a good man. He will try to test you, but you're too strong for him to break you." You give her a small smile in return. "Tomorrow," she adds, "we will see where you are in your recovery and try to find your place here in Overwatch." You feel a comforting warmth in your chest.

* * *

Commander Reyes arrives with your tray of waffles. Like yesterday, he places it on your lap. He takes his seat on the chair next to your bed. You decide to turn on the television while you eat. It is already programmed to a news station. Immediately you are bombarded by catastrophic images of the Omnic War. You nearly drop the control pad trying to change the channel. Your breathing is heavy. You can feel Reyes watching you just as intently as before, and your cheeks flush. You take a bite of the waffles on your tray, and your fear washes away from the sweet, buttery taste. You smile. This makes Reyes smile slightly.

Without a word, Commander Reyes rises from his chair and walks towards the door. Before shutting it, he leans his upper body back in and looks right at you. "By the way," he starts, "you owe me."

Your hand stops as it was guiding the fork to your mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more reader and Reyes interaction!! the plot will start moving forward in the next chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today is the day of your evaluation.

You are waken by Dr. Ziegler softly calling your name. You stir for a moment, and then open your eyes. From the side of your bed, she is looking down at you sweetly.

"Your evaluation is today." She turns her attention to a stand-up tray next to your bed. On the tray is a bowl of cereal and a glass of orange juice. "When you're finished eating, let me know when you'd like to get ready." You nod at Ziegler and start eating. The cereal is sweet, but you can't help but miss the overwhelming sweetness of the waffles Commander Reyes brought you.

After you finish eating, Dr. Ziegler helps you out of bed. She provides you with a change of clothing. You go into the bathroom to change. After changing, you examine yourself in the mirror. The black form-fitting pants look quite nice on you, and the dark gray tank top was much more comfortable than a hospital gown. The black slip-on shoes don't provide much support, but look alright nonetheless. Leaning close to the mirror, you look at your face. Your eyes look so tired. They have a slight purple tint underneath, making it look like sleep is a stranger to you. Your hair is also a bit disheveled. Leaving the bathroom, you ask Ziegler for a hair brush and then return to the mirror. Better ... but still not quite what you're used to.

When you leave the bathroom once again, Ziegler puts her hand on your shoulder. "You're going to do great," she assures you. "If you ever need me, I'm here." You give her a weak smile, your nerves getting the best of you. Life in Overwatch's hospital felt familiar; you're worried what life as an official Overwatch agent would entail.

Ziegler turns off the lights, and shuts the door behind you.

* * *

As you walk, you realize you hadn't seen the Overwatch base outside of your room. It has a considerably sleek look to it. The metallic walls are a lustrous gray. As light hits them, the metal has a sparkle to it. All around are accents of orange and black. Black and orange furniture, an occasional stripe on the wall, arrows on the floor pointing to various locations. It seems so orderly. Dr. Ziegler stops at a particularly large door. There is a plaque mounted on it that reads "Commander Jack Morrison." She opens the door and gestures for you to go inside. Swallowing, you walk in.

Commander Morrison sits at a large, curved desk. Light from the large windows behind him creates a radiant outline of his large figure. Standing at his side is Commander Reyes. You don't make eye contact with him. Ziegler takes her place on the other side of Commander Morrison. Morrison gestures for you to sit. You take a seat at the chair facing his desk.

He starts by addressing you with your full name. "We're all happy to see that you've made a full recovery from your injuries." Of all the eyes looking at you, you can feel Reyes' the most. "Here at Overwatch, we have many opportunities for our agents. We have offensive roles, defensive roles, medical roles, tech roles, and political roles." He turns his attention to Dr. Ziegler. "How is she handling everything?"

"She is still suffering from the trauma of the event, but she has made progress and I believe that she is strong and resilient. I feel that she would make an exceptional agent." She continues, "for now, I think it is best that we start her on a lesser intensity position. When more progress is made, we --"

Commander Reyes speaks up. "I want her for Blackwatch."

Blackwatch? Commander Morrison and Dr. Ziegler exchange concerned glances.

Reyes smirks. "Like you said doctor, she is strong and resilient."

Commander Morrison rubs his temples and shuts his eyes. He looks back up at you. "Would you mind stepping out?"

You shut the door behind you and lean against the wall. You don't know what Blackwatch is, but the sound of it makes your legs tremble. You can hear voices arguing through the door. The loudest is Reyes'. You hear your name being spoken occasionally. After a moment of silence, Morrison opens the door and allows you back inside. You take your seat again.

"After ... careful consideration," Morrison begins, "we have decided to place you in our Blackwatch unit." He turns to Reyes and speaks at him, but still addresses you. "If Blackwatch is too intense for you, we will find you a better suited position."

Your attention is turned to Reyes when he clears his throat. You are able to read others generally well, but there is no indication of this man's intentions. That scares you. Really looking at him, your stomach flips when you find something new about him that scares you. He's ... really attractive. "Welcome to Blackwatch, new recruit." You can only imagine how nervous you look, and it's enough to make him shift his mouth into a smirk.

Through your cracked exterior, he can see a wick. He wants to light that flame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot is starting to take form!! I have a better idea now of where I'm going to take this fic!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader is shown their new room.

After your evaluation, you are shown to your new room. You follow behind Commander Reyes as he guides you. He is silent and his footsteps are heavy. His stride is confident, his footsteps causing vibrations that you can feel in your own steps. His broad shoulders sway as he walks. Commander Reyes truly is an abnormally large man. Compared to him, you feel like a speck of dust that could be blown away even in the slightest of winds. He stops and turns his attention to a closed door.

"This is your room, new recruit."

You grasp the handle and open the door, stepping into the center of the room.

Reyes stands in the doorway. "Showers are across the living quarters. Entertainment area and kitchen is in the west wing, which you saw on our way here. My office is down the hall. If you get lost, follow the arrows; that's why they're there."

You turn back to look at him and nod with a soft 'mm-hmm.' Your eyebrows are drawn up and your eyes are slightly widened. You've looked this way since you've arrived here. It makes you look perpetually sad and worried, like a trembling little animal. Reyes looks at you more intently, his brows furrowing more. Besides a smirk, you begin to think this is the only expression he is capable of.

"Holler if you need me." He hesitates for a moment, eyeing you once more, and begins to close the door. Just before the door shuts, you can see his expression become slightly thoughtful, brooding. You really can't read this man at all.

You stare at the closed door for a few seconds before looking down and then around the room. Examining the interior, you see that the metallic walls are darker in color than the rest of the base. The bedspread is nearly the same color as the walls. There is an end table next to the bed with a cylindrical lamp sitting on it. Mounted on the wall facing the end of your bed is a moderately-sized television. A closet is built into the right wall towards the back of the room. It's empty. Next to the television is an open door; inside you see a sink. In a cup on the sink is a toothbrush and toothpaste. A toilet is placed in the corner and a mirror is mounted directly above the sink. No shower, of course. This is your new home. It looks as empty as you feel.

* * *

You stay in your room for several hours. You pace around the room, sometimes resting your body on the bed, and then switching to sitting on the floor. You miss staying in the hospital. The uncomfortable silence taking place in your room is unnerving to you. You miss the sound of hushed footsteps, the occasional fiddling of tools, and the soft click of doors opening and closing gently. It feels like no one else lives in these quarters considering how quiet it is. Feeling tired, you drag your body from the floor and onto the bed. Cocooning yourself in the blanket, you shut your eyes. Your breathing becomes irregular and you sob deeply, your body heaving with every breath. With your hands covering your face, you pull your knees up to your chest. After a few minutes, the sobbing stops but tears continue to moisten your pillow, causing you to flip it over. Your chest aches. You feel truly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> developing the reader character more and how they react to new situations!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader explores the Blackwatch base.

You feel so groggy when you wake up. You're not sure what time it is, or what time it was when you fell asleep for that matter. With nothing else to do, you decide to take a look around the Blackwatch facility. As you open the door, you are stopped by a crate resting at your feet. Confused, you pick it up and bring it to your bed. Inside you find several changes of clothes, similar to what you already have on. Under the clothing is a hair brush and several clips and irons for styling, as well as a bag of makeup. You hadn't worn makeup since you've been here, let alone styled your hair. There is a note at the very bottom of the crate.

'I thought you would like to have these. - Angela'

You bury your face in your hands, your face turning red. It feels so nice to have someone care about you at a time like this. With a new-found confidence, you head over to the bathroom, crate in arms.

* * *

You feel refreshed, and even a bit happy. You were able to style your hair in the way that you liked, and even wear makeup like you had before. You look ... nice. At least, you are able to recognize yourself now. You tuck the crate under the bed and exit the room, clicking the door shut behind you.

The Blackwatch facility is huge. The halls are at least six meters wide, and the ceilings are the highest you've ever seen. The color scheme is relatively the same as the Overwatch building, but the off-color is red instead of orange. You decide to check out the showers first.

The air gradually warms up and becomes more humid as you approach the shower area. You go through the doorway and turn the corner, bringing you to two separate doorways. You look for any signs, but the doorways are blank. Listening carefully, you make sure no one is showering before you walk through one of the doorways. The showering area is pretty standard. Tiled floors and walls, benches, large mirrors. The showers are set up next to one another in individual stalls. With not much else to see, you decide to check out the other doorway. The layout is exactly the same, but flipped. How are you to know which side you're supposed to go in? You remind yourself to ask Commander Reyes this, and decide to check out the entertainment area.

* * *

The entertainment area is quite something. Mounted on the wall in the very center is the biggest television you've ever seen. To match, a couch large enough to probably fit the entirety of Overwatch is arranged in front of it. On the adjacent wall of the television are clocks with the varying times around the world. ... you come to find you had slept all day. You turn your attention away from the clocks and your own shame. You see a pool table, pinball machines, and various playing card tables. This area is certainly a lot different from what you've seen so far. It looks very fun and lively, despite you being the only one there. Come to think of it, you hadn't seen a single soul on your way here. How many Blackwatch agents are there? The silence eating at away at you, you search for a controller for the television.

After a while of watching the television, your mind wanders. You never were given any information on Blackwatch before or after you were enrolled. Could you be the only member? Does that mean you'll have to work with Commander Reyes by yourself? Your cheeks flush at the thought. Your mind makes its way back to you as you feel an overwhelming presence behind you.

"Hey. See you found the TV." Almost on cue, it's Commander Reyes.

"Yeah ... sir." How timid you are in front of him. You can feel the remainder of your confidence crumbling before you.

Leaning on one hand, he jumps over the back of the couch and sits next to you, eyes on the television. "Anything interesting?"

The impact of him hitting the couch makes you jump.  "N-not really ..." You stare straight ahead.  He's close enough that you can feel the heat radiating off of his body.

He looks down at you. "You really don't talk much."

You don't have a response to this. Your brow twitches slightly.  Are you really too strong for him to break you?

"Didn't mean anything by it, just making an observation." After a moment, he says, "sometimes you don't need to talk." He stands up abruptly. "Sometimes you can speak louder with your actions."

You look up at him, perplexed.

"Did you eat dinner yet?"

You had only eaten breakfast actually. You shake your head.

"Good.  Follow me.  That's an order, new recruit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reader and Gabe get more development! I hope my interpretation of him is believable for his character :'0


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You eat your first dinner as a Blackwatch agent.

You follow Commander Reyes to the kitchen. As ordered. Looking around, you notice it's surprisingly sleek. The cabinets and counters have wavy, unconventional shapes to them and even the edges of the counters glow with a red hue. The appliances look very high-tech. You can't begin to guess what all of those buttons do. Someone really cares about this kitchen.

"What do you want?" His tone hasn't changed since the last time he asked you this question.

"Anything, if that's okay." You're afraid that saying you don't know might annoy him.

"Alright then," Reyes says. After washing his hands, he opens the refrigerator and pulls out a drawer. Fingers grazing over each object in the drawer, he finally finds what he is looking for. He picks up a zucchini and washes it under the faucet and takes a particularly large knife from the knife rack next to the refrigerator. The rhythmic sound of the knife scraping against the cutting board echoes in the large space.

Is he cooking for you? You feel your face redden. ... Has he been cooking for you?

"Can you get me the steak in the fridge?"

You walk towards the fridge and open the door. For a moment, you admire all of the shelves full of vibrant foods. Your eyes graze over the various items, and stop when they spot the meat in a preservation container. You pull it out and place it next to Reyes on the counter.

"Thanks." It was a flat and gruff 'thanks' but a 'thanks' nonetheless. "There's a large red bowl in the cabinet behind me. Can you get that?"

On command, you walk towards the cabinet and open it. Just like he said, there is the bowl. You place it on the other side of him.

Finished cutting, he moves the sliced zucchini into the bowl. Turning his attention to the steak, he presses a button on the container's lid and the sides of the lid flip up, unlocking it. The preservative chemicals hiss through the small openings. Commander Reyes swiftly rinses off the cutting board and places the steak onto it.

You lean against the counter behind him, unsure of what to do or say. Come to think of it, he doesn't talk much either.

"Your training starts tomorrow." He cuts the steak in half and readies the oven. "You're small. Can't really see you on the front lines."

Your heart sinks. What is that supposed to mean?

He leans back and turns his head to make eye contact with you. "How do you feel about a sniper rifle?"

"Would I even be useful?" Your shoulders jolt up, not thinking before you spoke.

Commander Reyes gives a short chuckle in response. "Well, we'll have to see how you do." He pulls out various spices from the cabinet above him.

The corners of your mouth draw down. Are you really capable of becoming an agent? Maybe you should have thought about your decision of joining Overwatch more, instead of letting your emotions get in the way. You're so lost in thought, that you don't realize Commander Reyes is now turned around and staring at you, arms crossed.

"It's cooking. It'll be a good half hour before it's done." His eyes follow your movements.

Your nerves begin to vibrate. You would need to pass half an hour with your Commander. What would you talk about? Would you even be able to talk to him? Talking to him will just make him doubt your ability further.

"Why don't you go set the table? It's out to the left."

"O-okay!" You sound a bit too excited to leave the room.

As Reyes hands you the dishes and utensils, his hand brushes against yours. Your heart stops, but he doesn't seem to notice the contact. You hurriedly walk in the instructed direction.

You are brought to yet another large room. The table is incredibly long, enough to seat twenty or so people. Hanging all the way down from the high ceiling are various rows of lights. You approach the table, but stop abruptly. Commander Reyes is going to eat with you, and you have to decide where you both are going to sit.

You can hear his large footsteps approaching behind you. You turn your head to look at him, and see that he is carrying two drinking glasses.

Feeling as if you're being rushed, you place one dish and set of utensils on one side of the table, and place the other dish and set of utensils on the other side of the table, directly across from one another. In turn, he sets the glasses down next to each dish. You nervously go to turn and say something to him, but he speaks instead.

"Go watch TV. I'll get you when it's ready."

You feel an invisible weight lifted off of you. You make your way back to the entertainment area, Reyes watching you from the dining area as you go.

* * *

You had turned on the television, but decide to lie down on the couch and stare up at the ceiling. For once, your mind is blank. It feels refreshing. Your eyelids slowly begin to flutter closed when you see Reyes standing over you.

"It's done."

* * *

You find yourself seated at the table, directly across from your Commander. The same Commander who's emotions you doubt are even there. The same Commander that purposely tests you, and then observes. The same Commander who you find to be unapologetically attractive. The thought makes you shudder slightly. You turn your attention to the scene on the table. On your plate is a particularly aesthetically pleasing meal. The steak is cooked to a deep brown, and is topped with garlic, rosemary, and a zig-zag drizzle of balsamic vinegar. The sliced zucchini has been baked in the oven and flavored with pepper and butter. The meal has a perfect balance of varying colors. It all looks amazing, actually.

"Not hungry anymore?" Reyes asks as he cuts his steak.

"O-oh, no I am. Sorry. It just looks ... really nice."

You notice a change in Reyes' face. It's so subtle, that you think you have imagined it. Following him, you start to cut your steak as well. Your cuts are sloppy; you find yourself sawing at the meat, having difficulty breaking the last few strands at the very bottom. Reyes watches you struggle for a moment.

"Give it here." After sliding your plate over, he begins to make quick slices across the meat. One swift slice, and the piece is separated with no resistance. He continues this until the steak is fully cut and then slides your plate back over.

"Thank you," you say softly, looking down. Your cheeks feel hot. He cut your food up for you. ... That's something Dr. Ziegler would have done for you. Thinking about Dr. Ziegler, you remember her words to you on the subject of your Commander. You think deeply about them, tossing thoughts around in your head, letting them bounce off the walls and crash into one another. Your Commander is really rough around the edges, you think to yourself. But ...

You glance up at him. His attention is on his own meal.

Maybe he does care about you, in his own way.

"Eat."

You flinch. "Y-yes sir."

* * *

He feels the match in his hand. The flame burns brilliantly and reflects against his golden irises. With narrowed eyes and a furrowed brow, he draws his hand closer to the wick you've so desperately tried to hide away within yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is my favorite so far, I hope you enjoy!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After eating dinner, you make your way to the showers to ease your spent mind.

You offer to clean up after dinner, but your Commander insists you conserve your energy. He reminds you of your training tomorrow. After thanking him profusely and attempting to hide your reddened cheeks by staring at the ground, you make your way to the showers. When faced with the two doorways once again, you remember you forgot to ask Commander Reyes which side you are to use.

* * *

You chose to go through the left doorway. Clean towels are folded neatly on the counter below the mirror. Shedding your clothes and leaving them on the bench with your towel, you walk into the stall and shut the door with a clank. You smile at the cute travel-sized bottles of body wash and shampoo on the shower ledges. You turn the knobs, finding the right temperature, and let the water hit your skin. The water erodes your anxiety. You close your eyes, droplets catching on your eyelashes.

* * *

When you shut the water off you feel a pit in your stomach, aware of another presence in the room. Your worries return to you.

"See you found the showers." For your Commander, Reyes certainly has no sense of boundaries.

With a shaky voice, you ask if you're in the correct side.

"Doesn't matter." You hear the amusement in his voice. He knew you would ask him this question. His voice returns to its usual serious and pragmatic tone. "Blackwatch is a team. We need to be comfortable, or at least tolerant, of each other in all situations. If not, we're more likely to fail as a whole."

Your body feels like it's flushing. Your toes curl against the wet tile. "Can I have my towel?"

Reyes doesn't respond, but you hear him shift his weight.

"Sir," you add. This is all still so new to you, and having a barrier of two or so inches between your naked, trembling body and your Commander's gaze certainly didn't help.

He drapes your towel over the stall door. You drag it down and wrap your body, carefully checking that you're covered properly.

"Thank you, sir. ... I'm going to my room now." You pause a moment but hear no footsteps. With a silent sigh and a scrunched expression, you open the door. Commander Reyes is standing outside of your stall, his outstretched arms holding your old clothes. Taking them from him gently, you hold them tightly to your chest. You glance towards the exit.

Commander Reyes reaches his hand out once again but rests it on your jawline, lifting your chin up to make eye contact with him. His hand is warm against your skin. You missed this warmth. It feels safe to you. Constantly craving and needing this safe warmth after all that has happened to you, you involuntarily lean into his touch a bit. He notices; one corner of his mouth curls up for a moment, but then fades as quickly as it came. Is this him simply testing your limits again?

"Comfortable?" He asks.

Of course you're not comfortable. But you love his touch. Or rather, you miss this feeling of safety, whether simply a test or not. Yes, that sounds better. Your body shivers not from the cold air poking at your skin, but the warmth from your Commander's hand caressing your face. ... How your body betrays your mind.

After your silent, wide-eyed staring, he rephrases his question. "Tolerable?"

"... tolerable," you confirm.  Your voice is hushed.

"That's a start, new recruit." His arm drops to his side and the cold hair bites at your jaw. Walking back to your room, you remind yourself to bring a change of clothes next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not very much happens this chapter, but it adds more to the dynamic between Gabriel and the reader character!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You begin your firearm training with Commander Reyes.

You find yourself awake in your bed, staring at the ceiling. The darkness shifts, creating a whirl of shapes that aren't really there. Your vision is a vortex; shadows swirl in the center and creep in from the edges. You feel your heartbeat through your body. Drawing heavy breaths, you try your best to recover from yet another nightmare. You peel your pants off, far too overheated to wear them. Toes finding the floor, you pull yourself out of bed. Standing upright, you let your blood settle into place. You want to splash water on your face. As you walk towards the bathroom, you find yourself rushing towards your room's door, no longer wanting to be trapped in the quietly mocking darkness.

You slam your door shut and wince at the loud noise filling the halls. Leaning your back against the door for a moment, you look around. The lights in the base are on, but dimmed. You glance down the hall towards Commander Reyes' office. You're not sure how late it is. You decide it's better not to wake him with your troubles. Not really sure where to go, you let your body lead your mind.

* * *

You find yourself in the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of juice. Aside from your movements, the base is quiet. You hate it. You slam the refrigerator door shut. Instead of cringing at the noise, you relish it. Your footsteps echo as you stomp your way out to the entertainment room. You sit down roughly on the couch and turn the massive television on. Finding the channel with the largest amount of noise and voices, you sit back on the couch with your knees drawn up, taking sips of your juice. You feel a bit better.

After finishing your juice and washing the glass, you sit on the couch for a bit longer. You really aren't ready to return to your quiet, lonely room. You examine the clock behind you. With a sigh and tears threatening to fall, you shut the television off and walk back to your room.

As you walk through your door, you glance over at Commander Reyes' office yet again and then look down at your feet. You leave your door open and use the light from the hall to find the switch on the lamp next to your bed. You lie on your bed in silence. You're not sure how you're going to survive life as a Blackwatch agent.

* * *

Sleep had found you eventually. Or more accurately, fatigue-induced slumber. You realize this when you hear Commander Reyes' voice through your still-open door.

He addresses you by your last name. "Get dressed and ready. Your firearm training is today. Meet me in the kitchen when you're done." Reyes certainly is a direct man.

When you fully come to, you realize you had fallen asleep on top of your blanket. Your long shirt had rolled up a bit since you had stirred in your sleep, revealing your black underwear underneath. You are quite an emotional mess, and it shows.

After fixing yourself up, you examine yourself in the bathroom mirror. Your makeup can't cover up the hopeless look in your eyes. From the crate Dr. Ziegler had left for you, you put on a tight gray t-shirt as well as a pair of black jogger pants. After looking over yourself one final time, you make your way to the kitchen.

* * *

You are greeted by a particularly large plate of buttered pancakes. Looking up, you see the face of your Commander. When you look at him, he grimaces.

"Coffee?" He asks.

"I don't like coffee," you admit shyly.

"Shame; you look dog-tired. Here," he hands you the plate. "Go eat."

Of course the pancakes are delicious. At this point you would be surprised if they weren't, actually. After your rough night, it feels good to have something warm in your stomach. When you finish, your Commander stands beside you with his hand outstretched.

Avoiding his dominant gaze, you place your utensils on the plate and hand it to him.

You thank him for the meal. In response, he gestures for you to follow him. As he washes your plate, you stand in silence. When finished, he gestures for you to follow him once again. Similar to being brought to your room for the first time, you walk behind him; neither of you speak. You pass your room. You then pass Reyes' office. Continuing further down the large hallway, you can see a metal door at the end of it. Without needing to stop, the door splits down the middle and opens automatically. Once you are both inside of the new room, the door shuts.

Reyes walks towards the back of the room as you look around. Like the rest of the base, the room is quite large. However, there is minimal walking space due to a significant portion sealed off by a waist-high barrier. Scattered around the room are ringed targets in the shape of people. This is a shooting range.

Commander Reyes returns to you. "Here." He hands you a sniper rifle.

You carefully grab it with both hands. You've never shot a gun before, let alone held one. You feel a tingling in your palms. Only a week and a half ago were you lying in the rubble of your former home, of your former safety and comfort. Now, you are holding a gun and the sheer damage it is capable of terrifies you. In fact, your hands tremble slightly.

"First and foremost, you need to master your stance. A standing stance is slightly less accurate compared to other stances, but you need to learn to hold your rifle properly, and then apply it to other stances. For most optimal use in a standing stance, you need to stand with your legs apart and your back straight. Lift the rifle up so that the scope is to your eye line."

You follow his instructions.

He looks you over, and bends down to nudge at your thigh with his hand. "Move this leg back slightly."

You adjust your position, your cheeks threatening a flush.

"Now hold the grip with your right hand, and hold the handguard with your left hand," he instructs. "... not quite." He places his hand over your left hand, inching it forward slightly. His large hand completely encases yours, and you nearly shiver. You... wish he had held it there longer.

"Better. Now rest the butt of the gun against your right shoulder, and make sure the scope is still at eye level." Reyes waits as you adjust. "You're going to want to stand not very far away from the barrier, but not all that close to it either. Stand far enough away so that your stance is natural and not restrained in any way," Commander Reyes instructs you.

You follow his instructions, glancing down at your feet and then to the barrier.

"Now move your finger to the trigger." He leans towards you and pushes forward on the trigger. The trigger clicks forward and then back into place. "Safety's off now. Your goal is to hit the innermost ring on the target, but any of the outer rings is acceptable for now. Aim."

You aim your shot. Through the scope, the crosshairs are lined with your goal. Your hands begin to shake a bit more.

"Fire."

You pull the trigger. The recoil of the gun pushes the butt into your shoulder. The sound of the shot drowns out your pained yelp. You look at the target. You hit the outermost ring.

"Again. Aim. Fire."

You tighten your grip on the gun to calm your shaking, and you pull the trigger. The silence of the room is overpowered by the shot. The sound makes you jump, and the butt of the gun is pushed into your shoulder once again. You look at the target. You hit one of the middle rings.

"Try holding the gun tighter so it doesn't recoil as hard. Aim."

You are holding the gun as tightly as you can, your knuckles whitening and your palms sweating. You attempt to line the shot back to the innermost ring, but your shaking hands make it difficult.

"Fire."

You fire again. The recoil is not as painful, but you can feel the bruise forming on your shoulder. Your breathing becomes labored as you recover. You examine the target for a moment before you realize you missed it completely.

"Aim."

You begin to shake profusely. Your stomach somersaults as your self-doubt creeps its way into your mind. Of course you're not able to do this.  You really thought you could join Overwatch?  The lack of sympathy from your Commander for your visible disdain doesn't help these thoughts. "I can't do this," you mumble.

"Fire."

You fire. Miss.

"Your target is the innermost ring. Aim."

"I can't do this."

"Fire."

Miss.

"Do it again. Aim. Fire."

You fire. Another miss.

"Try not to shake so much. Aim. Fire."

You hesitate, tremors traveling throughout your body.

Reyes repeats himself, but louder. "Fire."

You turn your head to look at your Commander. Your eyes are widened and your face is contorted into a wild mix of terror and agony. "I can't do this." Your voice echoes within the room and the volume challenges the gunshots.

"Fire."

You fire as you stare directly into the Commander's eyes. You don't need to look to know that you missed yet again. "I can't do this." Your voice cracks as you break into deep sobs.

"Aim." Commander Reyes' expression is blank.

You point your gun at the ground, defeated. "Stop! I can't do this!" You cry like a child in front of your Commander.  You don't understand how he could show you caring by cooking meals for you, but then show no remorse by pushing you like this. His conflicting behavior tears at you.  Yes, he had tested you in the past by invading your personal space and intimidating you, but he's never done this before.  You had thought you finally had him figured out, but it seems that you're wrong.  More than ever you wish you had died with everyone else. At least you would have been with ones that love you. You miss their love so deeply; that level of love and nurturing simply isn't here. Shame drips from your words. "I think it's obvious that I don't have what it takes to be here."

* * *

The match lights the wick and he admires the flame. But you had been doused in gasoline. The flame explodes and your body burns in the blaze.  His observation had not been careful enough; he has broken you.

* * *

For a while, he simply stares at you. He dissects every visible part of you. "Dismissed." Your Commander's voice is flat, much softer than usual, and his face is blank. His body language betrays him however; you have never seen someone hold so much rage in their heart, yet lock it away within themselves. He turns his back to you. His footsteps especially heavy, he walks towards the door, leaving you behind, clutching the rifle to your chest. Commander Reyes leaves without another word. You stand in the room with the ghosts of your words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you tell I don't know anything about guns??


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You become acquainted with the other Blackwatch agents.

You stay in your room for the remainder of the day. The halls have shown no sign of life since your training in the shooting range. You lie on your bed with your arms outstretched and your legs hanging off the end. This was a mistake. You plan to talk to Commander Morrison tomorrow.

* * *

After what you believe to be an hour, the silence in the base is invaded by footsteps and voices. You don't recognize either to be your Commander. Moving to your door, you crack it open and peek outside. Two men are walking in the direction of the entertainment room. You hadn't seen them before. One man wears an all-black ensemble with a cowboy hat. The other man is wearing a strange suit. It cuts off at his left shoulder, revealing deep scars that glisten in the light. The man in the strange suit stops abruptly, and twists his body in your direction. You duck back into your room.

"That her?" The voice speaking is deep and drawn out with a thick southwestern American dialect. "Commander told us not to bother her. Should at least introduce ourselves."

Your body shrinks into itself as you hear the sets of footsteps drawing closer to your door. They stop just as they reach the other side. There is a rhythmic knock on the metal. You sheepishly open the door and the man in the cowboy hat smirks at the man in the strange suit. He returns his attention to you.

"You're the new recruit." He says your name out loud, gauging your reaction to make sure it's correct. His tone is confident and flirtatious. He tips his hat at you. The man is nearly as tall as Commander Reyes, and he has chin-length brown hair and wild facial hair. "I'm McCree. Jesse McCree. I'm a field agent ... one of the finest." He gestures towards the man in the strange suit. He is considerably shorter than McCree, but still an inch or two taller than you. Upon closer inspection... his metal suit is embedded into his skin and a metal helmet makes only his eyes and black hair visible. McCree speaks again. "That's Genji Shimada. 'nother field agent. He doesn't talk all that much." McCree chuckles. Genji's expression rivals that of Reyes; his eyes are crimson red and filled with unexpressed rage. You make note not to get on his bad side.

"Easy to say you are one of the finest when there are only two of us." He offers an amused grunt at McCree. "Even so, the Commander would surely disagree."

"We'll have to see about that, Shimada," McCree says with a daring grin.

The two certainly have an interesting dynamic. Commander Reyes hadn't spoken about any other Blackwatch agents. You're thankful you get to meet them ... before you talk to Commander Morrison about being moved from Blackwatch.

McCree looks behind you into your room. He observes how empty it is. "Hey," he speaks to you again. "Wanna come with us? We just got back from a mission and I'm sure as hell needin' some time to unwind."

You just met these men, but compared to Commander Reyes, they seem very warm towards you. You certainly don't want to be alone, either. You nod with a small smile and follow them.

* * *

Jesse has decided to play cards and Genji has decided to play pinball. You rest comfortably on the couch watching the television. Occasionally, lines of dialogue are exchanged between the three of you, but you all mostly are doing your own things. You actually enjoy this quite a bit.

After everyone seems to be done with their activities, Jesse suggests you all get something to eat. You hadn't eaten since breakfast; there are no objections on your end. He gets some menus from a drawer in the kitchen and brings them back for you all to look over. The consensus is pizza.

After calling it in, the three of you stand around in the kitchen, making casual conversation. The subject of your role in Blackwatch is eventually brought up.

"So, did the Commander assign you a role yet?" McCree asks you.

You look down. You feel uncomfortable remembering what happened this morning. You look back up at McCree. "Kind of. He thinks I would make a good sniper, but I haven't really gotten used to using a rifle yet." Of course, Reyes never said anything about you possibly being a 'good sniper' but instead to 'see how you do.' Your chest aches a bit.

"Ah, s'that so." He grins. "Well, looks like you'll be assigned a mission with us at some point." His tone is reassuring, but you know that this will not be the case after tomorrow. His attention is suddenly drawn to the communicator in his pocket. He pulls it out and examines the screen. "Pizza's here! I'll be right back," he says as he hurries off.

You're left in the room for a few minutes with Genji. He really doesn't talk much, as Jesse had said, but neither of you are bothered by the silence. He makes his way out to the couch and tells you to come with him. He had settled down quite quickly and was already switching through the channels on the television as you sit down. He asks you if you like anything in particular, but you tell him you don't mind what you watch.

Jesse returns with the pizza box in his arms. All attention is immediately fixated on the box.

"Calm down, let me sit down first," Jesse exclaims. He takes a seat on the other side of you and opens the box.

After taking his slice, he passes the box along until all of you have picked a slice. Genji places the box beside him. You can't help but glance at Genji as he eats. He notices, and your stomach drops.

"I may be a cyborg, but I have everything you two have. Only improved." He lifts the metal cover over his mouth and takes a bite. The bottom half of his face is deeply scarred.

Jesse shakes his head with a smile. "The man's always braggin' about being able to eat and never gettin' a stomachache."

Conversation continues amongst you three. You casually mention how the pizza is good, but Reyes' cooking is a lot better. You tell them about the dinner he cooked for you last night. The two men stop eating and exchange glances.

"The Commander cooked for you?" Jesse asks. When he sees your confusion, he adds, "the Commander's never cooked for us. Always tells us to find our own food. Hell if we didn't ask though." After a moment, he starts laughing so intensely that he begins to cough. "Man, the Commander must really like you. Where'd you say you're from?"

You tell him about what happened to you and why you were brought to the Overwatch base.

"Ahh," he expresses with an understanding tone. "That's why." Your expression is of further confusion, but he doesn't elaborate on his statement. "Awfully sorry to hear about what happened by the way. If anyone knows what loss is, it's us." Jesse looks down and for a moment and his voice becomes uncharacteristically solemn. "Seems like we're all brought together by loss here." Catching his falter in character, he looks up at the television. "Hey turn this up, I love this show."

* * *

The pizza had been finished, but you all remain on the couch watching television. Jesse makes particularly loud comments about the show and laughs hysterically. The mood is suddenly darkened when you all see Commander Reyes watching. His eyes are directly on you.

Jesse leans over to you. "Oh man, he doesn't look too happy. Second day here and you're already pissin' off the Commander?" He chuckles.

Reyes' brow furrows even further seeing Jesse whisper something to you.

"Don't worry about it, we've all been there. He'll get over it in a day or two. Plus," he nudges you jokingly, "he likes you."

Commander Reyes' eyes follow the movements of Jesse's lips, and then focus back onto you. He really is pissed. Come to think of it, you shouldn't have yelled the way you did, even if he was pushing you. He's your Commander after all. Or, he will be for one more day. You would feel bad leaving the situation like this though. He looks like he's about to say something, but instead stomps off.

The mood is still tense after Commander Reyes leaves. Genji looks at the clock, and announces the time. It's pretty late, you all agree. You say your good nights to each other. Jesse tells you that it was nice to meet you and he wants to hang out again tomorrow. Genji nods in approval to this. With that, you all follow your nightly routines and head off to bed. You feel a bit guilty knowing you won't be here tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really hoping I made McCree and Genji's characters accurate! <:D


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your Commander wants to talk to you.

Your body spams. Your elbow slams against the wall and a groggy yelp catches in your throat. You've come to expect this, but it still wears on your psyche. Your body is hot and your damp clothes stick to you. Frustrated, you turn the lamp on and rip your sheets from the bed. Still upset, you tear the clothes from your body and scatter them across the floor. You find a black tank top and black shorts in the crate under your bed and hastily put them on. Picking up your sheets, you open the door to your room and peer out. The halls are empty and the lights are dimmed like the night before. You shut your door, careful not to wake the other agents. Arms cradling your sheets, you walk from the rooms and toss the sheets into the laundry bin outside the first doorway of the shower area. You know that there are other agents in the base now, but you still feel an aching loneliness in your chest.

You decide you won't bother trying to go back to sleep right now. A cold glass of juice sounds like it could refresh you. You give a reluctant look towards Commander Reyes' office before turning your back to it and making your way to the kitchen.

* * *

You stand in the kitchen, swishing the liquid back and forth in the glass. Your mouth is taut as your eyes follow the movement of the red liquid. Leaving Blackwatch isn't what you want to do, especially after meeting Jesse and Genji, but you feel it's for the best. You don't have the skills or even the emotional strength for it; you'd just slow them all down. Even your Commander is tired of you already. The glass meets your lips and you take a sip. Somewhere in the foggy depths of your mind, you find the desire to go lie down on the couch.

The television remains off. The silence eats a hole in your chest. You want to run screaming back down the halls and bang on Commander Reyes' door. You'd rather him express his distaste for you, express in detail your inability to do even the simplest of tasks, than sit alone in the silence trapped inside of your own head.

After finishing your drink, you lie on the couch for a while longer. The only audible sound is the ticking of the clocks behind you. Your eyes stare vacantly at the ground, your lids heavy. You count the ticks of the clock. One minute. Two minutes. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Strangely enough, you find your mind to be blank. Your eyes continue to gloss over the floor. Scuffs and scratches litter the surface. You wonder how each of them got there. You catch yourself drifting off. Perhaps it's time to go back to your room.

* * *

You wake up to voices and shuffling. Doors opening and closing. Footsteps. The bright light from the hall slips through the space under your door. The light is cut off by moving shapes. Then you hear a knock. Your mind is split between reality and haze. After a moment of silence, there is another knock. It's a small, hesitant knock. Your eyes fall on the door.

"Yes?" Your voice is raspy.

"Hey, it's Jesse. Just wonderin' if you were awake yet or not. We'll be waitin' for you in the kitchen."

You'd forgotten you planned to hang out with Jesse and Genji. You secretly hope that they would have forgotten too. Your body lies still on the bare mattress. You wish your problems would go away if you hid from them well enough. Your problems always knew how to find you however. With a sigh, you slowly rise from your bed.

You don't bother changing from the clothes you put on a few hours before. You throw on an unzipped gray hoodie overtop of your tank top. You'd prefer not to do your makeup, but you don't want to look so drained on your last day.

* * *

When you walk into the kitchen, your stomach flips. Jesse and Genji are indeed here, but so is Commander Reyes. You avoid his gaze, but you can feel prickles on your skin from his staring. Jesse and Genji lean against the counter. Jesse is reading a newspaper and Genji is looking at a menu. They both look up when they hear you step in.

"There you are," Jesse says. "We were thinkin' about gettin' some breakfast."

"Oh." You try your best to keep your voice from shaking, still well aware of Reyes staring at you. The other two men don't seem to notice. "I'm not too hungry actually."

He waves his hand at you in disapproval. "No, none of that. My treat for our new teammate. Whaddya want?"

Genji hands you the menu to look over. You find your place next to him and lean on the counter with your elbows, your back facing Reyes. Your spine tingles as you feel his eyes follow you. You really aren't hungry. Unease has taken its place inside of your stomach and expands over time. You settle on a blueberry muffin.

"That's all?" McCree looks at you with concern.

You nod at him, handing the menu over.

"Well alright." He places the newspaper down on the counter and walks out of the kitchen, holding his communicator up to his ear.

Genji walks out into the other room and you hear the television turn on. You're left in the kitchen with Commander Reyes. Your eyes fall to the ground. You need to let him know that you plan to leave today, and you're not sure when you'd get another opportunity like this to tell him. A ripple of courage washes over you and you lift your head up, opening your mouth to speak.

You hesitate as you stare at him. His back leans against the counter as his arms are crossed against his broad chest. You can see the muscles in his jaw tighten as he clenches it. His jawline is so sharp, and he has such defined cheekbones. You examine the scars across his face and his thick facial hair. He's so --

"We need to talk." Commander Reyes' gaze is anchored onto you, a scowl on his face.

... shit.

It was your plan to talk to him about the situation, but he beat you to it. You shrink down. He's in control now.

"Meet me in my office after you're done eating." With heavy footsteps, he exits the kitchen.

You shiver, a shock traveling through your abdomen. His tone of voice when he orders you is so --

You shake your head and compose yourself. Heading out to the other room, you're eager to drown your worries with television.

* * *

The muffin was enough to eat. More accurately, it was all you could eat before your nerves would make you sick. You excuse yourself from Genji and McCree, and make your way to Reyes' office. Your legs carry you in slow motion.

You look up at Commander Reyes' door. It looks nearly identical to Commander Morrison's, save for the differing name plate. As your arm extends to knock, you realize just how much your body is shaking. Your mouth curls up into a crazed smile, your eyes threatening tears. There's no way in hell you can do this with composure. Just as you turn your body to run in the opposite direction, the door swings open. Still horrified, your eyes widen as you are met with your Commander. He has never looked more annoyed with you. He addresses you by your last name, directing you inside.

Your hands are folded over your chest, subconsciously protecting yourself from the turmoil you are about to face. You're not going to tell him you want to leave. He's going to tell you that you need to leave. You hope at least he'll spare you the scandalous details of how unskilled you are. Reyes finds his place in front of you, his back facing his desk. With narrowed eyes and his usual furrowed brow, he stares at you. The corners of his mouth are drawn down. He inhales. You shrink even further, bracing yourself.

"You have to stop making so much noise in the middle of the night."

Your expression becomes pained, expectant.

"I told you that if you need me, you know where to find me."

Your shoulders visibly loosen a bit, but you still look like a dog being scolded.

He cocks an eyebrow at you. "Do you understand?"

Your eyes widen slightly, your mouth holding back a whimper. You nod enthusiastically.

He continues to stare at you, his arms crossed.

"Yes sir," your voice chokes.

"Good."

You see a shift in his energy. He allows himself to lean back against his desk. He looks more relieved than you, if you were to even look relieved. You continue to tremble, your mouth quivering. Commander Reyes' body tenses once again. His fingernails scrape against the fabric of his hoodie. The rage in his eyes is unmistakable as he observes trembling, pathetic you. When he opens his mouth to speak, you can see his bared teeth.

"I pushed you too hard." He speaks so loud and with force, you're positive anyone in the hall could hear. He sighs angrily, his hand pinching his forehead. "You obviously weren't ready. You made that clear even before I put you in the shooting range." He lowers his hand and straightens his posture, taking several steps towards you.

Here it is. You lower your head. He had wanted you specifically for Blackwatch, and you failed even basic training. Your arms fall and you tug at the legs of your shorts, desperately scrunching the fabric to distract yourself from the heat rising on your face.

"I pushed you before you were even comfortable here. That was a mistake on my end."

The anger dripping off of his words isn't directed towards you. You lift your head to look up at him. Your Commander's expression becomes reluctant. He examines your face, searching for a cue to keep going.

You have become the wide-eyed little animal you were when you first arrived. Your lips part in confusion.

Commander Reyes' mouth shifts to one side, grasping for thoughts. The anger he had held just moments ago has vanished. A crack in his exterior appearers. You gaze into it. Gazing back is a man filled with regrets. A man filled with guilt. A man filled with anger, hurt, jealousy. Letting go of your shorts, you feel as if your blood is flowing through you for the very first time. You stop shaking and gaze through the crack one last time. You see a man afraid of his own feelings.

You stare at each other in silence. Reyes finds solace in your awestruck expression. His body also recoils at it. Had he shown too much? His brow twitches, feeling an unfamiliar flush form on his scarred cheeks. His eyes narrow into yours, challenging you. When he sees your face darken, he finds the ease to continue. He is in control once again.

"I wanted you here for a reason." He pauses. "I'm not going to let you fail."

You're certain your whole body has turned red. You feel like an insect under his magnifying glass.

Despite your best attempts at covering it, Commander Reyes notices the purple rings under your eyes.

"Go rest, agent. I'll get you when dinner's ready. Dismissed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter took a while to plan! at one point I had the plot all written out, but then decided to completely rewrite it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your talk with Commander Reyes, you resume your life as a Blackwatch agent.

You smile softly as you take a bite of your dinner. Commander Reyes has cooked for you, which is something you thought you wouldn't experience again. When you finish eating, you carry your dishes back to the kitchen and wash them. From the kitchen, you can hear muffled sounds and voices. Your teammates are sprawled on the couch, watching television in the dark. You decide to join them.

McCree smiles at you as you sit down. "Well. Glad to see you could make it." He adjusts his position to make more room for you.

Genji gives you an amused grunt. "You missed the beginning, but I can fill you in."

Colors flash from the television, illuminating everyone in the room in deep blues and purples. The calm atmosphere in the room puts your mind at ease. You enjoy a movie with your teammates.

* * *

The water from the shower head tingles your skin. You run your soapy fingers through your hair, nails massaging at your scalp. When satisfied, you rest your forehead against the tile and let the water run through your hair. When you shut the water off, you allow the air to bite your skin. Goosebumps forming on the surface, you relish in the realization that you truly are alive. You have survived horrors that most could only imagine, but you're still here.

...

You pull your towel down from the stall and begin to dry yourself. Wrapping your body, you exit your stall and unfold your change of clothes, hanging them on the door of the stall. You enter the stall and begin to change, thankful for your privacy. You pull the fabric of the white t-shirt over your head. You slip on your underwear and then your black shorts. The long shirt nearly covers the shorts completely, only the hems peeking out from underneath it.

A comfortable sigh leaves your mouth. When you leave the showers, you nearly jump when you see McCree walking in. Your timing couldn't have been any more perfect, you think to yourself. Wishing each other good night, you head to your room as he heads to the showers.

* * *

Cracked bones peek through the mangled flesh surrounding you. You go to lift yourself from the ground, but your palms slip and your chin smacks against the ground. The taste of copper floods into your mouth. You clench your fists and a wave of nausea travels through your abdomen. Lifting your fists up, you open them. Blood and bits of bone fall to the ground with a sickening patter. Your breathing becomes labored and you moan in terror with every exhale. With one loud grunt, you flip yourself onto your back. Viscous droplets of blood fall from the endless ceiling and hit your face. From the darkness you hear groans and screams. It's a female voice. Between gasps, it calls your name.

You wake, chest aching from your rapid breaths. The nausea from your dream carries on into your waking life, and you rush into the bathroom.

You sit on the cold tiled floor, your fingers digging into your scalp. Your eyes are unable to focus. Even in your dreams your mind torments you. You had indeed survived, but your survival is met with clear complications.

You wash your mouth out and rest your weight on the sink. It's really late ... but there's no way you could possibly fall back asleep. The voice from your dream echoes in your mind. Choking back a loud sob, you rush from your room.

You lean against the wall next to your door, trying to come up with ways to calm yourself down. Thinking about red juice sloshing around in a glass forces you to swallow more nausea. You shut your eyes tightly and push yourself off the wall, running in the direction of your Commander's office. The fabric of your large t-shirt snaps painfully against your skin as your body cuts through the air.

Standing at your Commander's door, you find your chest heaving with each sob. Crying has become painful for your battered body. A trembling arm extends and knocks on the door. You watch in horror and embarrassment as the knob twists from the other side. Greeting you through blurry, tear-filled vision is the image of your Commander. He is wearing something other than his usual attire. His knit hat is absent, revealing loose, brown curls cropped on the sides. A dark gray t-shirt fits perfectly to his body, accentuating every muscle. You can see the scars that litter his large biceps and forearms. Your shoulders jolt up as you realize all he's wearing on his lower half is a pair of tight, black boxers and a pair of black socks. His thick legs are just as defined as the rest of his body. Your chest flutters as you stand at his door, half-crying half-panicked.

"I can't sleep..." Your weak voice sputters.

You've never seen your Commander in such a state. His eyes struggle to stay open and he sways ever so slightly. He stands there for a few moments. "Come in." Despite sleep trying to take him, he's still able to speak to you in that powerful tone. You reluctantly step through the door.

Your Commander guides you into a separate room connected to his office. You glance around. It's a living quarters. Much larger than your own, actually. There is a decorative rug spread on the floor and various newspaper clippings, photos, and medals plastered on the walls. There is a window on the right side of the room, currently covered by curtains. You wish you could have a window in your room. On the side opposite of the window are two huge guns mounted on the wall.

Reyes gestures you onto his bed. It's much larger than your own bed. If you wanted, you could spread out completely and there would still be a considerable amount of space. You shoot an unsure glance in his direction. When he gestures again with slight annoyance, you climb on with just the smallest amount of difficulty, as it's higher off the ground than a standard bed.

Your Commander takes his place by the bedside in a reclining chair. Yawning, he turns his gaze to you. You stare at him, dumbfounded.

"Go to sleep. Wake me up if you need me." He pulls the latch on the chair and the footrest springs up.

Tucking yourself under the covers, your insides effectively somersault. You pull the covers up to your nose. Merely hours ago you planned to leave Blackwatch. Now you find yourself in your Commander's bed.

* * *

Tinted sunlight dances on your eyelids. Your eyes roll as your body stirs. You turn to your side and slowly open your eyes. Going off of the sunlight coming in through the curtains, you could guess it's a bit before dawn. Your eyes fall onto Reyes, still sleeping in the chair. His gruff, rhythmic breathing relaxes you. For once in what seems like a very long time, you're not alone.

You can't help but stare at Commander Reyes as he sleeps. He looks so different than how he usually looks. He looks ... peaceful.

You let out a sigh as you stretch your legs a bit. Your sleepy bones crack and you sit up in bed. Hushed sunlight falls on your wakened figure; you look over at your Commander who continues to rest in his dark corner. You turn back and take in the atmosphere of the room for a bit. It's a lot different than your own room. The black darkness in your room would consume your mind, but in here the blue darkness feels like a lullaby.

With not much else to do, you decide to lie back down and rest your weary limbs. You smile slightly as you're still able to hear Reyes' breathing. It's not nearly as much white noise as your time in the hospital, but it's enough to eat up any malevolent silence that tries to pierce your thoughts.

* * *

Commander Reyes isn't there when you wake up again. You hop out of the bed and land with a small thud. You're still quite tired actually, but you're craving someone to spend your time with. You make your way to the door and peek outside. Commander Reyes isn't in his office. You leave his office and head towards your room.

When you're finished changing and grooming yourself, you make your way to the entertainment area. Empty. You look at the time. It's well past noon. Had everyone gone out without you? You glance down as you feel your stomach growl. You're certainly no chef, but you are able to make a sandwich.

It isn't the prettiest sandwich, but it's a sandwich nonetheless. Carrying it out on a plate, you lie down on the couch. Lying on your back, you stare at the rows of lights hanging from the ceiling. Usually there would be someone out here by now. Worry begins to rise in your throat. You take a bite of your sandwich in an attempt to shove the worry back down.

"You could choke like that."

You tilt your head back further. From this angle, your Commander's frown looks like a smile. You flip over to your stomach.

A smirk forms on his lips. "I've been trying to get those two to make food for themselves since they got here. At least you actually tried before you gave up and ordered a pizza."

"Oh. I didn't even think about that," you say as you push yourself up.

Reyes follows your eyes when you glance behind him, searching for your teammates. When you open your mouth to ask, he answers your unspoken question.

"They just left for a mission. If it goes according to my planning, they should be back in around three days."

Maybe you could have been on that mission.

"I've been thinking," Reyes begins again, "maybe you'd be better off as a medic. Combat might not be for you. Blackwatch doesn't have its own medic; we get our injuries treated by Overwatch." He places a hand on his chin and smirks again. "Having a medic would make us self-sustaining."

Medic? You ponder the idea. Come to think of it, you could see yourself as a medic. At least, more so than a sniper. The thought of treating others' injuries causes a warm flutter within you.

"You can start your training once your teammates return."

You swallow in an attempt to hide your nervousness. That's short notice. But ... that doesn't mean there's no time to prepare yourself. You feel a new spark of determination. You want this more than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this written out for 3 days I think? but it went through SO many revisions!! I have two more chapters already written out that I am currently revising as well, so stay tuned :D


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You try to entertain yourself while everyone is busy with a mission.

The following day is a particularly quiet one. Commander Reyes informed you that he wouldn't be available for most of the day because he would need to direct the mission. He gave you your official communicator for Blackwatch and then went to his office. You haven't seen him since then.

You spend a lot of your time in your room figuring out how to use your new communicator. It's surprisingly complex. Along with being able to audio and video call others, you can also message them and track their locations. Contacts and icons for Genji, McCree, and Commander Reyes are already installed into it. You open up the tracking application. On the map, you can in fact see that Commander Reyes is in the base. Zooming out, you can see the icons for Genji and McCree ... across the ocean. When you zoom into their icons, you can see them moving ever so slightly. It's almost like watching the mission unfold. When they stop moving, you try to imagine what they could be doing. When they change pace, you try to imagine the same. You've never seen either of them fight, come to think of it. McCree told you about how he's a particularly sharp shot, and Genji told you how he has mastered throwing weapons and a sword.

You leave your communicator open on the tracking application and decide to go make yourself some food. There's not many things you know how to cook yourself. You can make things that require boiling water or a simple assembly, but prepping, roasting, and frying are out of the question. You settle on another sandwich. But this time, you make the bold decision of using a condiment. You're certainly on your way to becoming a master chef.

* * *

You continue to watch the icons representing your teammates. Sometimes they would stop moving for quite a while, and then suddenly dart across the screen. After a while, they stop moving completely.

Shortly after, you hear a knock at your door.

"They're finished for the day." Commander Reyes cocks an eyebrow at your communicator, still in hand, and smirks. "Which I guess you could already tell."

You shut the screen off, slightly embarrassed. "Are they okay?"

"They're doing well. Better than expected actually. They took out a lot more targets than I originally planned for their first day. They only reported a few minor injuries. Cuts and bruises, nothing major. If they continue to do as well as they did today, then your initial training as a medic won't be too overwhelming. You probably won't have to sew anyone back up."

"Are you going to train me?"

He huffs, letting out a laugh. "I don't know the first thing about medicine. You'd be assisting Ziegler. I'll be there to oversee it though."

You perk up slightly at the mention of Dr. Ziegler. You hadn't seen her at all since your initiation to Blackwatch. You feel excited to start your training.

* * *

After your shower, you decide it's not even worth it attempting to sleep in your own room. You know exactly what to expect. This is probably your most rational decision since joining Blackwatch, you think to yourself. When you finish changing, you waste no time making your way to your Commander's door. You knock twice, your hair still wet and dripping onto your shoulders.

When Commander Reyes opens the door, he can't hide his amusement.

"Can I sleep in your room again, sir?" Your voice is low and hesitant. You're tired of blushing nearly every time you speak to him.

"Not even going to try sleeping by yourself?" He asks with a smirk.

"No." You're clearly not as amused as he is.

His expression flattens. "Yes, that's fine."

When you're both standing in his room, he turns to you.

"You can sleep wherever, but it's been a long day for me. I'm sleeping in my bed."

You glance around the room. There's the chair, and ... the floor. You don't have very many options to choose from. You hear the bed dip as your Commander gets in. Making your decision, you try the recliner chair.

You sink down into the cushions as you sit. Pulling the lever, you jolt as the footrest springs up with force. It's a comfortable chair. But not comfortable enough to sleep in. You spend the next several minutes fidgeting and attempting to find a somewhat plausible position. You're not used to sleeping upright.

Commander Reyes observes you struggle, amusement returning to his face.

"You know you could sleep in the bed too. It's not like there isn't any room."

You freeze at this. "O-oh."

Reyes moves to one side, making more than enough room for you. It feels more like an invitation than a suggestion. You sheepishly walk towards the bed, setting the footrest of the chair back down.

"I don't bite." He sounds a bit less amused.

You waste no more of his time and climb into the bed. Commander Reyes pushes a pillow over to your side and turns onto his back.

"Good.  Now get some sleep," he says, addressing you by your last name.

On command, you shut your eyes. ... but you can't sleep. Your body feels hot. Heat radiates off of your Commander, and your own flustered body produces excess warmth. A tension fills the air. Part of you wants to move closer to him. Another part of you wants to dart from the room. Hiding your face with the covers, you pull your knees up to your chest. You take deep breaths until you start to feel light-headed. If you can tire yourself out, maybe you'd forget that you're lying next to your particularly compelling Commander, and have better luck falling asleep.

When you begin to feel like you're floating, you know that it's working. You feel as if your body is rippling through the atmosphere, grazing clouds along the way. Sighing, you turn onto your stomach and allow yourself to melt into the bed. With a soft mattress cushioning your body and a large hand caressing your head, you lose consciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally had another chapter ready to add instead of this one, but I felt this one was necessary as to not rush the plot. interesting stuff happens next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After he's finished directing the mission, Commander Reyes wants you to meet him in the entertainment room.

When you wake up, you find that Commander Reyes is not there again. You allow your body to sink into the mattress for a few moments, burying your face in the pillow. This bed is perhaps the most comfortable you've ever slept in. A small, dreamy sigh slips through your parted lips. Last night, you felt quite a bit of unease getting into the same bed as Commander Reyes, and even more unease as you realized how much you would have liked to move closer to him and feel the warmth from his body. You remember feeling a strange sensation as you slipped into sleep. You could almost swear that you felt a touch on the back of your head. Certainly that's not the case. You probably imagined it while in your sleepy daze.

A voice can be heard through the door leading to your Commander's office. Several voices actually. You rise from the sheets and onto your feet. When you reach for the doorknob, you hesitate and listen. Commander Reyes is in his office. You can hear him barking orders, but at who? You decide to peek outside. Immediately, it is quiet. Reyes looks at you, a finger to his lips in a shushing manner. He is sitting at his desk with several holographic monitors in front of him. From your position, you can see that one is a map with coordinates like the application on your communicator. The other two monitors are smaller. When a voice emits from one, you see waves of sound that vary in shape depending on the level of sound.

"Everything alright Commander?" It's McCree. "Tell us where to go."

With his finger still to his lips, he presses a button on the screen and the map zooms in with more detail of the area. He lowers his hand from his mouth. "Northeast. There's five closing in behind you. Get to the building, and get there quickly and quietly."

"Understood," Jesse replies.

Commander Reyes is obviously busy. You wouldn't want to distract him any longer. As light-footed as possible, you make your way out of his office and head to your own room to change.

* * *

Standing in the kitchen, your complaining stomach reminds you of your dilemma. You're nearly starving, but not really in the mood for another sandwich. You scour the cabinets and refrigerator. Examining what is available and what isn't, you decide to look up a recipe on your communicator. You find a recipe for a pasta dish. Boiling pasta and adding a few other things shouldn't be all that difficult.

Standing back and observing your work, you can't say that you're disappointed. It took a lot longer than your poor stomach would have liked, but you're proud to see that you were able to make pasta with tomato sauce. The sauce had been pre-made in a jar, thankfully. You decide to add some grated cheese and more salt. Wiping a bit of sweat from your forehead, you hold a dish in your hand and focus on your footing as you make your way down the large hall.

You contemplate knocking. Even standing by the door, dish in hand, you're worried about disturbing the mission or once again distracting your Commander. Maybe this wasn't the right decision. But ... you don't think he's had time to eat anything yet today. You carefully turn the knob on the door and open it. The plate nearly slips from your hand when you're met with the broad chest of your Commander, inches from your face. He looks down at you, perplexed.

"I didn't think you ate anything yet. Since ... since you were so busy. I made myself pasta but there was some left over so I thought that I'd make a plate for you too." Your head is lowered, avoiding eye contact. This was a genuine gesture towards your Commander, who had cooked you meals many times before, but you still can't help but blush with embarrassment.

You jump slightly when you feel the warm hands of your Commander cover your own. But only for a moment. He takes the plate from you and stares down at it, and then back to you.

"... Thanks." His tone of voice is uncharacteristic for your usual pushy Commander. He sounds genuine, even a bit surprised.

You look up at him, and to your own surprise, his expression is soft. At least, softer than it usually is.

"They're almost completed their objectives for today," he says, reassuringly. He shifts his weight to one leg. Why does he seem so nervous? He clears his throat. "Go wait in the entertainment area." There's his usual domineering tone. Commander Reyes returns to his office, shutting the door behind him.

A shiver travels throughout your body. Was it really your imagination last night?

It had to be.

* * *

After you finish eating, you wait on the couch as your Commander had told you to do, and turn on the massive television. Gradually, you see the lights in the room dim. You glance at the clock ticking behind you. It's evening. Rising from your seat, you decide to switch the lights off in the room completely. The only light in the room is from the large, flashing television screen and the dimmed light from the kitchen.

The characters on the screen speak to one another in a sarcastic tone. Pre-recorded laughter is played after some lines. It's supposed to be a comedy, but it doesn't particularly click with you. Using the control pad, you begin to switch channels. You pass several news stations. The straight faces of the anchors as they report dozens of casualties feels mocking to you. You're not so sure you could handle any news right now. You continue to flip through the channels.

There's nothing of interest to watch. Defeated, you settle on the comedy show you had on previously and place the control pad beside you. You lean your head back on the couch and shut your eyes.

Slipping away into the unconscious realm, your mind snaps back when you hear your Commander's solid footsteps approaching you. He finds his place next to you and sits. The dip in the couch from his weight causes your body to slide closer to him. You readjust yourself and plant your feet firmly on the ground. Commander Reyes fixates on the television. You see his pupils move with the scene and actors.

"My agents did well today," he says suddenly. Pride resides in his words. "McCree and Shimada infiltrated the targeted Omnic terrorist base and gathered intel on their weapons. They were able to remain undetected. With this information, we can proceed further." Reyes turns his upper body and faces you, resting his arm on the back of the couch. "And you," he says with a snarky grin, "paid off some of your debt to me."

... you had completely forgotten about the exchange in the hospital. In fact, you could have sworn he was joking about you owing him. Looking up at him, you can see that he is serious despite his jeering grin. He had cooked you two meals while you were in the hospital. It seems that all you need to do now is cook him one more meal. That is what he feels you owe him, right?

Commander Reyes leans over you and picks up the control pad. You suck in air and hold your breath as his body passes yours.

"You don't seem like the type to like this kind of show," he states, observing the television.

"... neither do you, sir." You decide to play along.

He cocks an eyebrow at you as the side of his mouth curls up. "Then we'll find something we both like."

* * *

Commander Reyes' presence is very imposing to say the least. He's not one for personal space. Even during interactions between him and your fellow agents, you noticed how he would often break personal barriers to intimidate them. He likes his agents to know that he is in charge. In contrast, you haven't noticed this kind of behavior in Commander Morrison.

Your Commander sits next to you with his gaze on the television. His left calf rests sideways on his right thigh, his metallic boot pointing towards you. His right arm stayed put on the back of the couch. If you wanted, you could lean back and rest your head on his hand. Your face flushes at the thought.

The both of you had settled on a crime show. You watch in amazement as the forensic scientists track down the criminal with merely a clothing fiber. Occasionally, your Commander makes comments on the show. From the corner of your eye, you can see him inching ever so slightly in your direction. You're probably just overanalyzing his movements; people tend to fidget after sitting for a while. You devote your attention to the show.

It's not until you lean back slightly that you realize Commander Reyes had in fact been moving closer to you. The back of your head makes contact with his large bicep. Your eyes widen and you sit back up.

Commander Reyes glances down at you through the corner of his eye. "If you're that tired, you can rest."

He moves even closer to you; his thigh rubs against your own. With his left hand, he pats his chest.

Your cheeks feel hot and your stomach flips. You hesitate to even move.

"Or you could just go to bed," he adds nonchalantly.

That's certainly not what you want to do. With even more hesitation, you gently rest your head on his chest. Under the soft fabric of his hoodie, his body feels very firm. You're aware that this invasion of your personal space is simply him further expressing his power over you, but you don't care. His hoodie feels like velvet against your cheek, and the warmth from his body intertwines with your own. You had craved closeness such as this since the day you had lost everything. It could never eat away the ravaging guilt you feel for leaving your loved ones behind, but it could help encase it, and nurture it.

You never thought that this kind of encounter would be with Commander Reyes, however.

When you look up at your Commander, you see his eyes fixated on the television screen. You also see the smallest of grins beneath his facial hair.

* * *

You don't remember falling asleep. It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust in the darkness. You're in the entertainment room. The light from the kitchen reflects off of the giant television and you hear the clocks ticking behind you. When you attempt to move, you feel a strong resistance. You hear the growling breaths of Commander Reyes. The last thing you remember was your head resting on his chest; you don't remember being in this position. His large, firm arm is wrapped around your waist and holding you in place. You find yourself to be nearly on his lap with how close you've been pulled towards his body. Your face immediately heats up and you begin to tremble.

This doesn't feel at all like your Commander asserting control over his agent. This feels far too personal. When your breaths hitch and become caught in your throat, you try once again to move. You feel yourself becoming too flustered to sit still.

Your admitted crush on your Commander had been innocent; you never had any intentions to pursue it. You planned to shove it further and further down until you drowned it. You knew how wrong it was to have a crush on not only your Commander, but your Commander who's probably twice your age.

With a tired groan, Commander Reyes stirs. He pulls your face back into his chest and cradles the back of your head with his hand.  Maybe you hadn't imagined last night.

Upon this, you give in and allow yourself to melt into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent a looot of time revising this chapter and making sure it fit well. I hope you enjoy!!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Commander Reyes acts strangely towards you. You begin your training as a medic.

You wake when you feel your body being moved. When you open your eyes, you're met with the face of your Commander. His features are illuminated by daylight peeking in through the giant windows. As he looks you over, his face is distraught.

He turns his body to observe the clocks behind him, and promptly rises from the couch. "I have work to do," he mumbles as he stomps away.

As you watch him walk away, you feel like your insides are twisting and contorting, causing your eyes to water slightly. Your chest aches with embarrassment. You're unsure of what really happened last night. Was pulling you that close to him simply reflexive? Was that also the case when he did it the second time? Had he woken up at all during the night? ... is he ashamed of having been that close to you? You take deep breaths and attempt to calm yourself. Surely it's something else. It has to be. You need it to be. If he was that uncomfortable with you, he wouldn't have let you rest your head on him in the first place, right?

You sigh. It's no use thinking about this right now. Still quite tired, you lie back down on the couch and dip your troubled mind in slumber.

* * *

After grooming yourself, you decide to look up another recipe on your communicator. You settle on another simple pasta dish.

Commander Reyes is probably just stressed, you think to yourself. If his actions had been intentional, then that would explain how he could be so cold towards you afterwards. But if it wasn't intentional ... Your head drops in shame. You should have forced yourself from his grasp and gone to your own room last night. With a worried brow, you carry the hot dish down the hall.

After several knocks and considerable silence, it's safe to assume he's not going to answer. You press your ear to the door. You don't hear the voices of your teammates or your Commander. Is he avoiding you? Feeling defeated, you carry the plate back to the kitchen.

After wrapping the dish and putting it in the refrigerator, you carry your own dish to your room, shutting the door behind you. You eat in silence.

* * *

For dinner, you find a small packaged food in the kitchen. You're not all that hungry anyway. Since the exchange this morning, you hadn't seen or heard Commander Reyes. You're not sure if he has even left his office for anything.

Back in your room, you gather clothes to wear to bed and make your way to the showers. Your footsteps echo in the empty space. It's hard to keep your mind from wandering to areas you wish it wouldn't go. You turn the knob and let the water hit your skin.

As you walk out from the shower area, you dry your hair with your towel. You toss the towel in the laundry bin and carry your old clothes to your room.

Lying down on your bed, you unlock your communicator and open the tracking application. You zoom in on the map. Commander Reyes is in his office, like you had thought. His icon moves back and forth on the screen. It looks like he's pacing around in his office. Why? With slight hesitation, you zoom out and move the map with your finger. Jesse and Genji's icons are moving over the ocean. They must be on their way back, but it doesn't look like they'll be here for quite a while. With a sigh, you let your arm hang off the side of the bed.

You lie down for several hours, staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, you hear heavy footsteps approaching your door. They stop just outside. The light peaking in through the bottom of the door is cut off. Holding your breath, you watch the shadow and listen. From behind the door, you recognize the troubled sigh of Commander Reyes. Shortly after, he stomps away. Disappointment anchors itself to you and your body sinks.

* * *

A multitude of sudden bangs on your door causes you to gasp.

"Your medical training is today," calls Commander Reyes from the other side. "Meet me outside, and don't make me wait."

A vague threat is all it takes for you to fall out of bed and rush into the bathroom. You don't think you've ever gotten ready and groomed so quickly. Your limbs feel a bit heavy, however. You hadn't gotten any considerable sleep last night due to your worry and fear.

Come to think of it, you'd prefer to be a bit more tired than usual than to have another nightmare and wake up sick and alone.

You exit your room and shut the door behind you. Commander Reyes leans against the wall next to your door. He looks at you and frowns.

"Follow me."

Reyes leads you down the same series of halls and doors as when you first came to Blackwatch. He remains silent, and his quick pace is hard to keep up with. When you reach the medical unit, he guides you to a different room than the one you stayed in. Commander Reyes knocks on the glass of the door. Within moments, Dr. Ziegler opens the door and allows you both in.  Your chest flutters with joy to see her again.

Jesse is seated on an examination table with his shirt off. He looks at you, and when he sees Commander Reyes' expression, an amused grin forms on his lips. Genji sits in a chair against the wall, swiping at the screen of his communicator. His body is sparingly wrapped in bandages.

Dr. Ziegler pulls you aside to a counter with various tools and papers on it. She explains Jesse's injuries to you and the required treatments for them. He has several cuts and bruises. She hands you gauze, cotton swabs, alcohol, and a cream with a golden glow to it.

Dr. Ziegler guides you over to Jesse, who's trying his best to look strong despite the pain.

"Well," he says through gritted teeth, "I didn't think I'd get to be treated by two lovely ladies today."

It's endearing how he tries to look tough, despite the obvious pain. You laugh slightly at his remark.

Dr. Ziegler addresses each wound littering his torso, explaining what needs to be done. The cuts need to be cleaned with the alcohol, and then wrapped in gauze coated with the mysterious golden cream. The bruises need to have the cream rubbed directly onto them. She gives you a pair of latex gloves and you put them on. Commander Reyes leans against the door with his arms crossed. His hawk-like gaze hasn't left you.

You decide to treat Jesse's cuts first. Pouring a few drops of alcohol onto a cotton swab, you gently place it onto one of the cuts. McCree winces and sucks in air through his teeth. You apologize to him for the pain. Your fingers move to unwrap some gauze from the roll and apply some of the cream to the inside of it. You carefully wrap it around the cut, making sure it's not too tight. It's hard to keep your hands steady from your lack of sleep, but the first wound was easy enough. The memories of staying in the hospital flood back to you. You remember having your wounds treated in a similar way. You focus on steadying your hands. After finishing all of the cuts, you move onto the bruises.

There's quite a few of them, some more distinct than others. Following Dr. Ziegler's directions, you gather a bit of cream on your gloved finger and gently rub it onto the bruise, careful not to press down too hard. Jesse closes his eyes at your delicate touch. You feel the heat from your finger pierce the glove and transfer onto the bruise. You imagine a soft, pink light emitting from the contact and healing the wound. When the cream is fully rubbed into the bruise, you move onto the next one. You hear Commander Reyes shift his weight behind you.

You stand back when you finish. Dr. Ziegler places a hand on your shoulder.

"You've done very well! You're quite a natural at this," she cheers.

You have to admit, you really enjoyed treating McCree's wounds. It felt rewarding to heal someone and ease their pain.

Dr. Ziegler turns back to look at Commander Reyes. "It looks like Blackwatch may have found its medic," she says, smiling.

Reyes simply grunts at this, his arms still crossed.

She turns back to look at you once again. "I want you to come back first thing tomorrow so that I can go over more with you. You've already learned the basics so quickly!"

You excitedly agree to meet with her tomorrow. As you get ready to leave, Dr. Ziegler explains to Commander Reyes that she has a few more things to look over with his agents.

He nods slightly. You have trouble hiding your unease as you walk out of the room with Commander Reyes. You're not looking forward to being alone with him. In fact, he hasn't spoken to you at all since the other night besides his orders. Without a word, you walk behind him. After reaching the long hall connecting the bases, Reyes turns his head slightly.

"You're certainly close with Ziegler," he huffs at you. "And it looks like you got close to McCree, too." He's trying his hardest to pierce you with his words. "I hope our little medic doesn't get distracted by her new friends."

You had just finished your first day of medical training, and you felt that you have done well. Now Commander Reyes is throwing sarcastic comments at you. Your shoulders drop. You're quite tired of the way he acts towards you. You're tired of how hot and cold he is, and how downright demeaning he can be. Perhaps the other night wasn't intentional, but you certainly don't deserve this. A scalding heat rises in your chest and erupts in your throat.

You stop walking. "What's your problem?" You snap back at him.

He turns around and stares down at you, his lip twitching. You return his challenging stare.

"What?" he asks in disbelief. His pronunciation is sharper than usual.

"You're acting like a jerk!" Your voice echoes within the hall.

Commander Reyes lunges at you with such a speed you've never seen before. Terror shocking your body, you retreat backwards and let your back slam against the wall. Reyes blocks your exit with his broad body, an arm extended against the wall on each side of you. You've certainly struck a nerve within him.

"You can't talk to me that way," he barks at you.

"But you can talk to me like that?" You desperately shout back.

"I'm your Commander. I can talk to you however I want." His mouth is fixed into a snarl.

You turn your head, avoiding eye contact. Any confidence you've had previously dissolves.

"Look at me."

You reluctantly turn your head back to face him. You feel like you're going to cry, and your reddened face shows it.  Your comments certainly were impulsive.

Inches from your face, Reyes looks into your glassy eyes. Tears finally fall down your cheeks. He stands there for quite a while, pinning you to the metal wall. The anger melts from his face. With a deep sigh, he pushes himself off the wall.

"I'm sorr-"

Seeing your opportunity, you bolt. "I can make it back from here," you call back through broken breaths. And you were gone.

Commander Reyes stands in place. He's messed up once again. He slams his fist against the wall, the sound echoing within the massive hallway. What the hell is wrong with him? Why is it that you've become close to other agents, and he resents you for it? Why is it that he wants to be close to you, but when he feels you getting too close he purposely sabotages it? Why is he afraid of showing his true thoughts and emotions? He leans back against the wall, crossing his arms. It's no wonder they promoted Morrison to Strike Commander and kicked him aside; Morrison brings out the best in everyone, while Reyes can't even express his own emotions properly. He clenches his hands into fists, grasping the material of his hoodie tightly. If he can't learn to control this, then it will surely be his collapse.

* * *

He examines the ashes within you. Your wick had been destroyed in the blaze he'd created. Desperate, he searches for another wick, holding the match to your skin. He lingers too close to your flesh and burns you, cursing you for allowing him to do so.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend the rest of the day avoiding any contact with Commander Reyes. The following day, you meet with Dr. Ziegler for further medical training.

You shut the door and crawl into your bed, the skin on your cheeks taut with dried tears. If only you could heal your own wounds. Commander Reyes had already been relentless towards you today, and it's hardly noon. For once, the quiet of your room isn't so malevolent. The silence sits back and observes you. It neither engages or ignores you; it simply exists. The memory of the mocking voice of your Commander, however, jabs its fingers between your ribs. You don't think you could handle seeing him for at least the rest of the day. You turn over and fall in love with the silence.

A loud rap at your door pulls you down from your cloud and back into your Blackwatch bed. It takes a moment for the fog in your mind to clear.

"Who is it?" you call in a worried daze.

"It's Jesse. We just wanted to know if you'd wanna watch TV with us."

To be honest, you'd rather be by yourself right now. But not because of them. Jesse and Genji had showed you nothing but kindness since your arrival, actually. In return, you probably look like you've been avoiding them.

"Sure, I'll join you."

As you walk down the hall with McCree, you feel as if your mind is tied to a balloon. Nothing feels real. Your steps are soft; you feel like you'd fall through the ground if you're not careful. When your legs feel like they're going to give out, you're thankful that you're finally able to collapse onto the couch.

Genji is seated nearby, flipping through channels. His brow is tense and focused, but he greets you regardless.

"I'm feeling like an action movie," he says, eyes still focused on the television.

You're not a particular fan of action movies, but you wouldn't mind watching one. Anything to get your mind off of what had happened earlier.

Genji gets the movie ready while McCree orders food through his communicator. 'What's a movie without some food?' he had asked, grinning widely.

* * *

When everything is finally set up, you all take your places on the couch once again. You gaze down at the red juice in your glass. Closing your eyes, you take a sip. The cool flavor expands into your mouth and tingles your tastebuds. A smile forms on your lips.

A little while into the movie, Jesse stands up. He taps you on the shoulder and gestures for you to come with him. Looking over, Genji pauses the movie with an irritated sigh.

He leads you into the kitchen and leans against the counter.

"Alright, spill it. What's up with the Commander?"

The sudden mention of your Commander causes you to stumble. So much for taking your mind off of things.

"He was eyein' you real good this mornin'." He holds back a laugh.  "He doesn't look at people like that unless they really piss him off."

The last thing you want to do is tell him what had happened last night. You're also sure you'd get in trouble if word got out about your exchange with your Commander. You can't form a response to Jesse. Instead, you look down at the floor. You feel a mix of shame and regret. You were awake and realized what was going on. Why did you let it happen?

McCree shifts his position slightly at your silence. His eyes observe your defeated body language.  "Maybe I'm just that handsome," he says suddenly.

You look up at him, perplexed.

He stares at you, a playful smirk on his lips. "Guess he couldn't stand to see you that close to another man, especially one as good-lookin' as me. Because, y'know, he likes you and all."

When he laughs, a weak laugh pushes its way out of your own mouth. If only.

He straightens his posture. "It's fine if you don't wanna talk about it. Just wanna let you know I'm all ears if you need to get some frustration out. Reyes is a good Commander, but I'll be damned if I didn't say he's hard to deal with sometimes." He pushes off the counter and pats you on the shoulder. "Speakin' of people that are hard to deal with," he says as he glances in the direction of the kitchen exit, "I'm sure Shimada's gonna be mad that we left for so long. He hates pausin' movies."

* * *

You hadn't seen Commander Reyes at all since yesterday. You're just as good at avoiding him as he is you. Yawning, you make your way to the hospital wing as Dr. Ziegler had directed you to yesterday.

She opens the door for you. You smile at each other as you walk in.

"Good morning! I hope you don't mind helping me this early again."

You shake your head. "Not at all."

You hadn't gotten very much sleep last night either. There were far too many things on your mind for you to put it to rest. Ziegler can see how your eyelids droop.

"Are you sleeping well? Have your night terrors gotten any better? We do have a mental health professional on-base in case you need them."

Come to think of it, you hadn't had a night terror in a few days. Partially because you hadn't slept very much. Also because you'd spent several nights with your Commander, but you leave that part out. You don't really feel the need to see anyone in case they return though; there's certainly enough thoughts for you to sort through already.

She's happy that your night terrors have seemingly gotten better, but urges you to get more sleep. An agent works best fully-rested, she tells you. "Now," she begins, "shall we get started?"

* * *

Dr. Ziegler works with you on one of the metal counters. Her tablet is placed in the middle and displays images and in-depth descriptions of various medical procedures. You hadn't expected to see this much blood and this many lesions for basic training. It makes your knees shake a bit.

"Do you need me to go over anything again?"

"I think I have it all so far."

She smiles and swipes on her tablet, moving onto the next procedure and treatment.

Despite the fog in your mind and your shaking legs, you find no trouble understanding what Dr. Ziegler is going over with you. Your stomach occasionally sinks at some of the images, but you focus on reading the treatment.  She goes over not only battle-related injuries, but common illnesses as well.

"How is Gabriel treating you?" Dr. Ziegler asks suddenly.

It takes you a moment to realize who she's talking about; you'd forgotten your Commander has a first name. Your stomach sinks once more. To anyone else, that would be a simple inquiry, but to you it's a loaded question.

"Um ..." You can't find where to begin. You frown. "He's ..." You recall the accuracy of Jesse's words the previous day. "He's hard to deal with sometimes.  A lot of the time, I don't know what to think of him."

Dr. Ziegler clasps her hands around your own, causing the tool you are holding to clank onto the counter.

"That is ... correct," she says with a somewhat pained smile. "He can be a difficult man. But between you and I," she begins in a hushed tone, "I have never seen Gabriel speak so passionately about an agent before. He really wanted you, and for good reason it seems. Don't tell anyone I told you this," her voice becomes even quieter as she looks around the empty room, "but he has been through a lot; just like you have.  He still has his own wounds to heal from."

As you watch the subtle changes in her expression, you consider her words. Commander Reyes really is a complex man; he's unlike anyone you had met before. ... Maybe you had been too brash.

* * *

After going over the basics with you, Dr. Ziegler quizzes you on them. Though you don't get every question correct, you still get enough correct that you surprise yourself. She tells you that you've once again done very well today. You should have been placed in a medical role from the start, you think to yourself; despite treating only one person so far, you feel fulfilled. Ziegler gives you her contact information and you put it into your communicator. She tells you it's to summon you to the medical unit for more training and treatments, but having the ability to now contact her at will feels reassuring.

When you leave the medical unit, you have a feeling of dread once again. You won't be able to avoid Commander Reyes forever. You had felt slightly guilty for needing to snap at him the way that you did, but the guilt eats into your abdomen now that you know how passionate he had been about recruiting you. At one point, he believed in you.

Arriving back at the Blackwatch unit, you notice how empty it feels. The lights in the base are still dimmed. Is no one else awake yet? You can't help but feel a bit intrusive pulling your communicator out, but you want to know. You open the tracking application and zoom into the map. Genji's icon is motionless, as well as McCree's. Down the hall, Reyes' icon moves back and forth in his office. He's the only one awake.

As silently as you're able to, you make your way into your own room, shutting the door behind you. Of course you're going to apologize for acting the way that you did, but you need time to think just how you're going to approach the situation. There's no doubt in your mind that he's still upset with you.

* * *

Commander Reyes paces back and forth in his office, his heavy footsteps sending vibrations through the floor. His hand rests on his forehead. He's really ruined things, hasn't he? By now, he had hoped to see you at least once, so that he could attempt to tame the discord. But you've been doing so well at hiding away.

Reyes pulls his hat off and runs his hands through his short, dark curls. He's tired of this uncertainty. It's eating him alive, and the only way to control it is to speak to you, or simply even see you. You've become a ghost to him in such a short amount of time. Your existence within the Blackwatch base had previously been a quiet one, but now it's like you're not even here.

Commander Reyes puts his hat on once again, tucking his hair underneath it. His hand dips into his pocket and pulls out his communicator. This problem ends right now. He tugs open his office door harshly and steps out, colliding with a small body in the doorway. His eyes lock onto the stumbling obstacle as his communicator clatters to the ground.  And there you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate everyone's kind comments and feedback so far! ;__; I'll make sure to go back and respond to them, thank you so much for everyone's support!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You seek to end the conflict with your Commander.

An uncomfortable silence runs its fingers along the both of your spines. For two people who had intended to find one another, neither of you know what to say. Drawing your attention away from your Commander's bewildered face, you look down at his communicator that had fallen from the collision. With caution, you bend down and pick it up. Turning it over in your palm, you examine the screen for any cracks or scratches. Nothing, but there is a bit of dirt and debris on the screen. You brush it off and offer it back to him, your head tilted towards the ground but your eyes looking up at him.

Commander Reyes slowly slides the communicator from your hand and puts it into his pocket. His eyes remain focused on your face. The slightest twitch of the corner of your mouth, the quiver of your worried brow, the spasm of your neck muscles as you sheepishly swallow saliva, the subtle dilation and constriction of your pupils ... all are easily detected under his watchful eye.

"I'm sorry, sir." And you are sorry. You're not only sorry for the first time you snapped, or even the second time, but you're also sorry that he'd unknowingly taken on the obligation of having to deal with your behavior. Surely if he had known that you are this way, he would have never wanted to recruit you. What even made him want you for Blackwatch in the first place? What had made him so passionate, according to Dr. Ziegler, of placing you under his command?

After so long, you'd grown used to Commander Reyes' dominating stare, but right now it feels as if his eyes are piercing your exterior. You feel a sudden painful flutter in your gut as you watch his expression melt into anger. His cheeks redden; you could only imagine how hot to the touch his rage has made his face.

"Don't you dare," he speaks through gritted teeth, "apologize to me."

With the same inhuman speed you had witnessed once before, he plows towards you. Before you can fully comprehend what is happening, you're being tugged forward by your arm. Reyes moves backwards into his office and he slams the door so hard behind you that the vibration causes you to temporarily lose your footing. Moving backwards, his waist hits his desk, and with one final pull of your arm, your own body collides into his. Wasting no time, Commander Reyes wraps his large arms around you, pressing you against his solid form. He moves his hand up and tangles it within your hair.

"... when I should be the one apologizing to you."

You feel his chest heaving with every breath that he takes. An electric shock rattles inside of you. You feel a liquid heat stirring and vibrating inside of your fingers. The heat travels up your arms and into your chest, where it combines with your biological lightning storm. Sweat begins to collect on your temples. In no time, your shallow breaths match your Commander's. It takes no effort at all for you to succumb to him. Is this really happening?

Commander Reyes sinks down onto the floor, taking you with him. With a hand placed under your thigh, he pulls your lower body into his large lap. You gasp softly. Still in disbelief, you allow him to move your limp form in whichever way he pleases. Your Commander lowers his head and exhales past your ear. He places a hand on your hip, keeping you from leaving his grasp. He nudges your head forward and you press your cheek against his armored chest.

"I've made countless mistakes with you. This is one of many," Commander Reyes huffs. He rests his chin on the top of your head. "But I can't help myself." The anger returns to his voice and he pauses. "... I read your file. I know what happened to you. That's why I knew I needed you for Blackwatch. All of us here lost something important to us. Loss does something to people. It makes them different. I lost just as much as you did." As he continues to speak, hesitation builds within his voice. "You remind me of myself right after it happened. I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I joined the military." He runs his fingers through your hair. "You needed guidance from someone who understands your situation. But I got too close to you, and now there's nothing I can do about it."

You lie against him in stunned silence. You want to ask him what exactly happened in his past, but decide that it's for the best that you don't. With caution, you move your arms from your sides and wrap them around his abdomen. You picture the same pink light you had imagined during your medical training emitting from your palms. Shutting your eyes, you see it spreading over his back and encasing his chest in a gentle warmth. You begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. Taking the initiative from your touch, he holds you tighter.

"I know this is wrong. I tried my fucking hardest to ignore how I felt. And to push you away."

He hasn't expected you to speak, but you can't help feeling like you're put on the spot. How could you respond to all of this? Now more than ever do you feel painful twinges of guilt for getting angry with his behavior towards you. You want to apologize to him one hundred times more. You unwrap your arms from him and tuck your hands under his hat, gently ruffling through his hair. Commander Reyes sighs at your touch, shutting his eyes.

His confidence returns to him. "But I never would've thought you'd be all over me like this." A smirk can be heard in his voice. "I thought you'd protest at least once, but you're so compliant for your Commander."

You're sure your entire body has become flushed. Though he had talked about not being able to control himself, you have been finding it increasingly difficult to ignore the attraction you have towards him. Though you find him to be physically beautiful, your feelings are dominated by something within him that calls to you.

"How could I not be, sir?"

Your relationship with your Commander has been rocky so far, but being secure in his grasp feels like home to you. At last, you feel truly safe. Lowering one of your hands, you trace the back of his neck with your fingernails. Commander Reyes exhales deeply once again. You move your hand down his back and bring it forward onto his chest. As your face presses against his metal armor, a sudden yawn overcomes you. You're on your second day with very minimal rest, and it's beginning to take its toll on you.

In response, your Commander pulls you further into him, your lower body resting against his waist. He moves your legs with his large hands, wrapping them around him. With his hands moved under your thighs, he rises, carrying you effortlessly.

You stare up at Reyes as he supports your weight with his strong arms. His jawline is so sharp, and it's lined perfectly by his facial hair. Even from this angle, you can see how defined his cheekbones are. His thick brows remain furrowed and his eyes carry a brooding darkness around them. It's difficult for you to resist running your fingers over one of his various facial scars. As you grow closer to his room, you see the corners of his mouth rise up. The scar running vertically along his lips makes you wonder what a kiss from him would feel like ... You burry your face into his chest, hiding your eyes. This feels surreal.

Only when he stops walking do you look up again. A wicked smile rests on Commander Reyes' lips. You feel him pry your legs from his body, and suddenly he tosses you into the air. Your body lands on his large bed, the mattress bouncing from the force.

"H-hey ... !"

"Don't think just because I feel this way about you that I won't keep you on alert. Can't let you get too comfortable."

In less than a minute he takes off all of his combat gear. He swiftly unzips his hoodie and tosses it aside, revealing a black, form-fitting shirt underneath. Oh god. Like a predator stalking its prey, his eyes are locked onto you as he climbs onto the bed next to you. At this point, you're positive he can hear your heart rattling inside of you. Within moments his hulking form overcomes your own, and he pulls you into him. When your body is firmly pressed into his own, he rests a leg over your lower half, effectively pulling you as close to him as possible. His body feels like a protective barrier between yourself and the world that hurt you. Your Commander's hand finds its usual place on the back of your head; he certainly likes to hold you like this. You pull your arms up and rest them on your Commander's firm chest. Proving more and more difficult to resist, you glide your fingers over his abdomen, tracing along every chiseled muscle. You move your hand up to his shoulder, and trace along his large bicep, grazing over his abundant combat scars. How could someone like him possibly feel this way about someone like you? You had never thought in your life that you would be held in such a way by a man such as Commander Reyes.

His hand strokes through your hair. "Get some sleep."

* * *

You return to him, your skin blistered from his burns. You approach him, and move your hands to your chest. They pull your skin apart and open up your ribcage. When he looks inside of you again, he sees golden embers littered within your ashes. Mystified, he doesn't know what to make of it. So he sews your chest back up and opens up his own.

You'd only ever seen a glimmer of what lies inside of him. When you see how truly marred his core is, you weep. His wounds have already scarred over; they're far too old to heal. But you can try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are getting Spicy™


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After your time with your Commander, you join your fellow agents in their activities.

You hear your last name being spoken.

"Hey, wake up. It's late. You can't sleep forever."

You turn your body towards the voice, and your vision adjusts. When you see Commander Reyes leaning over you on the bed, you can't help but gasp slightly. You don't want to get up. More than anything, you wish that time would freeze.

"What if I want to sleep forever?"

He grunts in amusement and leans back. "I'm getting up, but you're free to stay here. Alone."

You swiftly climb out of the bed. He sure knows how to motivate you.

* * *

When your Commander and yourself make it to the usual gathering area, you see Genji and Jesse entertaining themselves. Jesse sits at the playing card table, while Genji is occupied with one of the pinball machines. One large blade strapped onto Genji's back clanks against his metal body as he furiously slams buttons on the pinball machine. Reyes stands next to you as you observe the scene.

Jesse looks up at you from his hand of cards. "Hey." He tips his hat. "Was wonderin' when you were gonna stop by." He smirks and tilts his head slightly when he sees Commander Reyes. "Late start, Commander?"

Your Commander's expression remains blank. "I was doing paperwork. Had to make note of how much of a smartass you are."

Genji turns his head from his game of pinball. "Hah, surely there's nothing like that on my file."

Reyes looks at him from across the room. "Nope. You're just an ass."

Your Commander and your fellow agents continue to throw sarcastic comments at one another, followed by snickering and the occasional loud laugh by Jesse.

When everything settles down, your fellow agents resume their activities. You listen to the sounds of the pinball machine and of cards being shuffled. Commander Reyes takes his leave from the group, explaining that he has work to do.

You decide to fiddle with your communicator, touching the icons of things you haven't looked at yet. When your screen suddenly changes to a reflection of your face, you discover that the communicator has a built-in camera. You stick your tongue out at it and snap a photo.  An option to change the background of the communicator to the new photo pops up.  You laugh.  No way.  After touching an icon with rows of parallel dots within the camera application, the sensor bar above the screen projects a small, teal, holographic window that frames a section of your environment. Within the window, teal dots are placed along edges of physical objects framed by it. An icon appears on your screen, and you touch it. The holographic dots fade away, and on your screen appears a photo of your surroundings that were framed in the window, with all separate objects precisely outlined by the dots. You tilt your head in confusion; you haven't the slightest idea what purpose this could serve. For something given to agents for communication, this communicator sure has a lot of strange features.

After a bit, McCree glances back at the clock. "Damn, that late already?" He sets his hand of cards down and rises from his chair, yawning and stretching.

Genji turns to look at him and he adjusts his blades. "Are you going to train?"

"Nah. You go have fun overworkin' yourself." He sighs. "Early day tomorrow."

"Hm. Suit yourself."

As McCree begins to walk down the large hall, Genji approaches you.

"You've never seen me train, have you?"

You look up from your communicator in surprise. "N-no, I haven't."

His metallic mask hides a sly grin. "Then I'll have to show you what I'm capable of."

* * *

You've never seen the base's courtyard. Actually, you weren't even aware that the base had a courtyard. The direct sunlight stings your eyes slightly; you come to realize you haven't been outside at all since you first arrived.

Genji silently guides you to a secluded section of the courtyard. The grass is thoroughly trimmed in the area. He firmly plants his feet on the ground and takes his place in the grass, drawing his blade. Several meters in front of him are wooden targets with a humanoid shape. They're set up side by side, forming a long line across the grass.

Genji's tense, crimson eyes seem to glow as he looks at his targets. He bends his knees and spreads his legs apart, shifting into position. You watch as his expression melts into fury, and you instinctually take a step back. You've seen hints of this in his eyes. The red accents on his body glow brightly.

Leaves on the surrounding trees are pushed by the wind and they brush against one another. Aside from the wind and trees and the occasional call of a bird, the courtyard is silent.

In one breakneck movement, Genji is at the first target and it's sliced in half. The wood splinters and the top half lands on the grass with a heavy thud. You're almost positive time had skipped somehow. It's impossible that someone could move that fast.

Genji lets out a confident grunt and runs his metallic fingers along his blade. Without turning his body, his cybernetic wrist opens up, and he launches projectiles at the next target. He doesn't need to examine the points of impact before he assaults the next one. Squinting, you can see all of the serrated stars sticking out of the target's head. He certainly wasn't exaggerating his abilities.

The air is rattled with the sound of wood being sliced clear through. Every other target collapses into pieces, while the remaining targets are brutally assaulted by wind-slicing projectiles. The last target falls to the ground; the sound acts as a curtain draw, indicating the end of the show. With one deep breath, Genji examines the destroyed targets littering the courtyard. Satisfied, he sheathes his blade and approaches you. He leans down and sits cross-legged on the grass.

You stare at him wide-eyed, your head tilted sideways. "How did you do that?"

Genji points down at the grass, gesturing for you to sit as well. You follow his instructions.

"With practice, but also discipline. I learned to control my emotions and put them to better use." His brow furrows. "When I first got here, I was beyond repair. Not only was my body destroyed, but my soul as well." His gaze focuses onto the grass in front of you. "Overwatch gave me a new body. I can't say it's the same as having my own body or that I even like being a cyborg, but it's functional. That's all I could have hoped for I guess. As for my soul ..." He looks up at you. "That's not something anyone but myself can repair. I'm still broken in that sense, but I have made progress. Instead of fighting myself and those around me, I began to focus more on my tasks, my missions. Thus, my control over this new body and my abilities in combat increased dramatically."

You sit back and listen to Genji as he speaks, giving him your undivided attention. He's very cautious of what he reveals to others. You'd sensed something troubling within him, but he gave no hints as to what exactly it could be. His words are rich in emotion and meaning.

When he is finished speaking, he looks off into the distance. The air is silent once again. You'd really like to know more about him sometime, but only when he's ready.

He brings his gaze back to you, and his expression softens as he examines your intrigued face. "I think that you will make a fine medic."

A smile forms on your lips. The two of you sit in silence, appreciating the reds and oranges of the sunset. You feel a calmness like none you've felt before.

* * *

When Genji retires to his room, you decide to sit by yourself and reflect on things.

You sit down on the couch, and your body collapses backwards into the cushions. Your eyes gaze up at the ceiling. So much has happened today. Your medical training, your time with Genji, ... and everything that happened with Commander Reyes. You've lost your family, your home, your friends, your old lifestyle, any sense of familiarity you'd ever known. Yet here you are, nearly a full-fledged member of Blackwatch on your way to helping combat those responsible for your situation. It's been incredibly difficult, and it hurts every day, but you're surviving. Despite your rough start, you'd like to think that your family would be proud of you.

Your communicator vibrates in your pocket, interrupting your thoughts. Could Dr. Ziegler be summoning you for training again tomorrow? You turn it over and look at the screen. It's a message from ... Commander Reyes? Your stomach flips as you open it.

_Sleep in your own room tonight._

Oh. You're not really sure what to make of this message. You'd prefer he speak to you in person. But, you think to yourself as you yawn, you're far too spent to worry about possible hidden meanings right now. Despite your reluctance of sleeping by yourself, you follow his instructions.

* * *

Your mind stirs as you hear several sets of footsteps and voices in the hall. You turn onto your back and open your eyes, grunting at being woken up so suddenly. The footsteps stop at your door.

A loud, heavy knock. "No oversleeping." It's the gruff voice of Commander Reyes. "I'm taking McCree and Shimada to conduct a mission overview and to start their required training. Be awake and ready to leave by the time we're back."

You sit up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. "Yes, sir."

He seems so different from yesterday morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a long time since the last update! I've been having a lot of health problems that started last month, but I think they're finally under control for now. thank you so much for all the support and patience for this fic so far!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take your first trip away from the base.

You're seated on your bed, your back against the wall. Last night was the first night you slept by yourself and weren't forced awake by a nightmare and a cold sweat. How long have you been here? You lay your face into your hands. If you had been told that you'd be a victim of war and moved from your home due to the loss and destruction, you'd have laughed and shook your head. Or maybe you would have shouted at whoever told you this. You can't remember what kind of person you were before everything happened. You sigh and lift your head from your hands.

You turn your body and let your legs dangle off the edge of the bed. Your feet make contact with the cold floor, and you lift yourself from your bed.

You examine yourself in the mirror after dressing. A pout forms on your face, not satisfied with what you see. The black spandex leggings looked nice folded and unworn, but somehow lackluster on your own body. You turn around to look at your backside. The dark, cropped hoodie doesn't look quite right on you either. You ruffle your hands through your hair, letting each strand fall back down into its natural place. Your hair, your body, your face ... Who are you? Who have you become? Your mind feels disconnected from your body.

You sigh and exit your room, shutting the door behind you.

You lean your back against the wall next to your door, and slide down until your body makes contact with the floor. You pull your communicator from your pocket, waiting for everyone to return as you were ordered.

Your mind wanders as your eyes focus on the screen. Commander Reyes told you to be ready to leave, but gave no specifics. Where will you be going? And is it part of your training? Or are you in trouble because you've done something wrong? It was also strange of him to specifically tell you to sleep in your own room, after you had spent several nights in his room with seemingly no disdain to him. But come to think of it, it's strange that someone in a position of power would let their subordinate stay with them in their private living quarters in the first place. Your body sinks down further. You're not sure what's considered normal anymore.

* * *

You've nearly fallen asleep sitting on the floor when you hear the echo of your Commander's heavy footsteps down the hall. Following them are the softer footsteps of Jesse and Genji. You stand up in an attempt to appear at attention. Your spine tingles, sensing the focused gaze of Commander Reyes from down the hall.

Reyes stops in front of you, examining you. "You're ready. Good." He motions towards Genji. "Take her to the ship. I need to change into civilian clothes." He looks over at Jesse. "You need to change too."

Genji guides you to an area of the base you haven't seen before. A large, motion-sensor door opens, and you follow him inside. The new room is massive, with even the slightest sound creating an echo. You continue to follow Genji straight ahead. A large mass at the end of the room grows larger as you approach it. You both stop, and a massive ship hovers off the ground, creating a soft hum. It's dark in color and the shape is very sleek. You wonder if there's any other part of the base that you haven't seen yet. As you begin to wonder more about the base, the door to the room opens and you see McCree jogging in your direction. Walking at normal pace behind him is Commander Reyes.

McCree joins Genji and yourself in front of the ship. He puts his hands on his knees and takes a moment to catch his breath before greeting the both of you. When he stands straight, you catch a better look at him. He isn't wearing his hat. Instead, his mid-length hair is brushed back and tucked behind his ears, besides two long sections framing his face. His attire consists of mostly dark colors like his Blackwatch uniform. His pants are dark and somewhat baggy, with visible padding on the legs and knees. His shirt is long-sleeved and black. The buttons are undone, revealing another white shirt underneath. The sleeves are rolled up, revealing his forearms, and tied underneath the collar of the white shirt is a red neckerchief. His gloves, however, appear to be the same ones he usually wears. You're a bit embarrassed to think that he looks attractive.

Commander Reyes clears his throat, his eyes locked onto you. Your attention turns to him; you hadn't noticed that he'd caught up with you all. He's wearing a tight black shirt with padding on the abdomen, similar to the areas he usually wears body armor on. Over top of it is an unzipped black hoodie. His pants are dark with many pockets, and they're tucked into black combat boots that come up to his large calfs. Absent is the beanie he usually wears. You want so desperately to run your fingers through his curled undercut. Your Commander really is something to admire.

Reyes' eyes shift to Genji and he tosses him a black shirt. Genji catches it and puts it on, covering the symbol on his torso. He then tosses Genji a backpack as well as another item.

"You already know what I'm going to tell you, but I'll remind you again. It's not uncommon for civilians to receive cyber augmentation, but it's usually not to the extent that you have. You need to look more like a civilian. Take off your visor and put it in the back pack and then put that mask on."

With slight reluctance, Genji turns away from the group and removes his visor. He places it in the backpack and holds up the other item he was given to his face. He tucks both straps behind his ears, adjusts it onto his face, and then turns back around. It's a black mask that covers the bottom half of his face. He slings the backpack over his shoulder.

"Good," praises Commander Reyes. "Let's go."

As everyone begins to board the ship, you remain in your place. "Where are we going?"

Commander Reyes turns his head and looks over his shoulder. "The city."

* * *

You shift nervously in your seat on the bench against the wall of the ship. The ship looks a lot larger on the inside than on the outside. There's enough room for everyone to go off and do their own individual activities.

You turn your head and look towards the front of the ship. Through the window, you can see clouds being cut through and separated. A small distance from the window is a satellite map displayed on a screen. Commander Reyes had put in the coordinates for the destination and set the ship to autopilot.

You turn your head back and stare at the ground. "How long until we're there?"

"About an hour," Commander Reyes responds, leaning against the window.

You haven't had extended contact with your Commander since the other day. You can feel your face flush at the thought of him, remembering how warm and firm his body felt. It's going to be a long ride.

* * *

Genji stares out of the front window as the ship lands. Commander Reyes examines the radar screen. He then turns and pushes several buttons on the side of the console. The ship vibrates slightly as the door opens, forming a ramp to the outside.

When you reach the city, you're star-struck. All of the buildings are so tall, much taller than you're used to. Nearly all of them have some sort of neon light accent and sleek, asymmetrical structure. The streets are large and wide with two lanes for vehicles on each side. Flashing lights and neon signs surround the area and travel down the streets are far as you're able to see.

McCree whistles in awe. "We really oughta come here more often."

Commander Reyes turns to the group. "I have things I need to get. You two are free to join me or go off and do your own things. Just don't cause any trouble." He makes eye contact with you. "But you're going to come with me."

Genji and McCree decide to split off from the group. As they're walking away, Commander Reyes catches both of them by the arm.

"And don't bring any attention to yourselves." After his final scolding, he lets them go. He then turns to you, his large form ever so intimidating. "It's a decently long walk."

You had been walking behind your Commander until he told you to walk beside him. He's looking around quite a lot. When someone approaches from your side of the walkway, he moves closer to you. Your heart skips a beat when you feel his body rub against your shoulder. Even away from Overwatch, he's on high alert.

After some time of walking and the crossing of streets and passing of blocks, he stops at a storefront. "In here."

You follow him inside. It's quite a large store; the ceiling is high and the floor space is much less crowded than the city streets. The walls are lined with clothing, and stalls across the store contain countless kinds of materials. Commander Reyes tugs your sleeve, forcibly pulling you out of your trance and guiding you in his direction. He lets go when he finds what he's looking for. You watch him as he sorts through a stall, lifting up and sampling materials, comparing one to another. He glances back at you several times. What does he need in a store like this?

You feel your communicator vibrate in your pocket. You pull it out and examine the screen. It's a group message from McCree.

_Meet me here whenever you guys are done._

A second message appears on the screen. It's an address. Communicator still in hand, you turn to your Commander to see if he has gotten the messages as well. Instead, you find him staring at you, arms full of various materials and the hood on his hoodie drawn up. You expect him to say something, but he remains silent as he looks at you.

"McCree wants us to meet him somewhere," you sputter nervously.

"Yeah? Where?"

You tap on the address and a new application opens. "It's ... a bar. And it's across the city."

Commander Reyes shakes his head, smirking slightly. "Just couldn't wait, could he?"

* * *

Commander Reyes and yourself make your way into the bar. The lights are dim, but you can see Jesse waving both of you over to a booth.

"Hey. Get everythin' you need?"

Commander Reyes sits down. "Yeah." He places a bag on the table containing the materials from the clothing store. "What kind of trouble did you two get into?"

Jesse pulls out a cigar from a box, placing it between his teeth, a wide grin on his lips. "None at all, Commander." After a click of his lighter, it lights.  He doesn't sound very convincing.

Genji reaches into his backpack and pulls out a large box. He places it on the table and stares at it. He pulls his mask down just enough to reveal his lips. "I got this."

Reyes looks at the box with a blank face. "Want to fill us in on what that is?"

He turns back and pulls yet another object from his backpack. He places a helmet with a flashing LED visor on his head. "Virtual reality gaming. It's the newest system and currently the best in the industry."  He begins to talk about the system's specifications.

"Ah." Commander Reyes has no idea what Genji is talking about. "Alright."

"How can I assist you?" A strange voice calls from the side of the table.

McCree slams his fist on the table with excitement. "Get me some straight whiskey."

Genji takes off the helmet and places it back into his backpack. "Nothing for me."

Commander Reyes doesn't look up from the table. "Rum."

You turn in the direction of the voice. You're greeted by a face. A lustrous, metallic face. Bolts stick out of its forehead and its jaw is nailed in at the hinges. Black, empty eyes devoid of emotion stare back at you. It's an Omnic. You can't respond; you've forgotten how to speak. The Omnic simply stares at you silently, waiting patiently for your answer. You feel your body being sucked into its black eyes. When the room starts spinning, you finally pull yourself free and stare at your lap. You feel everyone's eyes on you.

Your Commander shifts in his seat when he sees the expression on your face. "Just get us our drinks. She needs a minute to think."

He pulls you up by your sleeve and guides you past all of the booths into a secluded corner of the bar.

"What's going on?"

You can't look at him. You're only able to look at the floor, your trembling hands balled into fists.

He places a hand on the wall next to you, letting you know that he won't let you leave without a sufficient answer.

You swallow. "That Omnic." You have trouble finding words. "... It's eyes are so empty. I ... I hated looking into them." You feel your breathing becoming more rapid as you try to arrange your thoughts into something coherent. "S-sir? Do ... do you think that Omnic wants to kill me, like the ones that killed my family?"

"Hey," he says firmly. He grabs you by the shoulders, forcing you to look at him. "Listen to me. If anyone - human or Omnic - is a direct threat to your safety, I won't hesitate to take them out. As long as you're with me, you're safe. What kind of Commander would I be if I let anything happen to my agents?"  His focus on you is unrelenting.  "This city is one of the safest, you don't have to worry about something like that."

You begin to feel your body relax. A feeling of comfort overcomes you when you see light reflect off of your Commander's golden irises. You exhale and try to regain composure. "Could you order my drink for me, sir?"

He lets go of your shoulders. "Any preference?"

"Nothing too strong."

"You got it."

While you have him here ... you figure you'd ask. Your face twists, hoping that this isn't the wrong decision. "Um, what did you mean by that message last night?"

Commander Reyes pauses at the change in topic. He leans to the side, peering past the wall and into the crowd. His eyes move carefully around the bar, surveilling the area. He then leans back and returns his gaze to you. "That cowboy is a lot more observant than he seems," he begins, cracking a sly grin. He feels himself losing control at the sight of your quivering face. "And he's not really one to keep his mouth shut, as I'm sure you've already noticed. I had to lay low and throw off the scent, which meant not risking him finding out where you've been sleeping. Because, you know ..." He reaches his arm out and rests his hand along your jawline. " ... you could get me in so much trouble."

In an instant, his lips make contact with your own. Like all of his actions, his kiss is hard and forceful. You can feel your lips pressing against your teeth from the force, and his facial hair pricking at your skin. Surprised, you whimper softly against his scarred lips. His grip on your jaw tightens, holding your head in place. He closes the gap between you both, and presses his large, firm body against your own body. You're pushed backward by the weight, and you feel your back against the wall.

You gasp as his grip on your jaw loosens and he pulls away. Your half-lidded eyes lock onto his, your breaths now hot and heavy. You're quite embarrassed by the effect he has on you.

A daring grin takes its place on your Commander's lips. "It's hard to resist you when you look at me like that." He lets out a sigh as he looks you over, the tension in his own face rising. "Let's get you that drink."

When you both return to the booth, it's empty. Looking around, you see Genji and McCree playing pool in the back of the bar. McCree stumbles several times as he makes his shots. You look down at the table and see two empty glasses at his seat. Has he already drank that much?

You sit down at the booth, and Commander Reyes sits beside you. Within a moment, the Omnic returns for your order. Your Commander leans forward, blocking your view of it.

"She wants something mild."

Without a word, the Omnic leaves and begins working at the bar.

McCree and Genji make their way back to the booth, McCree stumbling even more than he was a few minutes ago.

"Y-you missed it," he says, slurring his words, "I beat Shimada pretty bad."

Genji crosses his arms. "I don't think knocking the balls off the table and then placing them closer to the pockets counts as a real strategy."

* * *

It's nightfall by the time you all return to the base. Genji and McCree go off to bed almost immediately, resting up for their mission tomorrow. Feeling quite tired from the trip and still a little buzzed from the alcohol, you decide to head to your room as well. Standing in front of your bed, you remove your clothes and put on an oversized t-shirt to sleep in. You gasp audibly when two large arms wrap around you from behind.

"Quiet," Commander Reyes orders, his breath hot on your ear. He pulls you further into him, completely interrupting what you were doing prior.

When your body finally calms from the scare, you allow yourself to lean back into him. The two of you stand in the middle of your room, enveloped together, not speaking. He moves an arm up and brushes the back of his hand against your cheek. Moving down slightly, he traces along your jawline and then wraps his hand around your neck. He can feel your pulse through your exposed jugular. You're extremely vulnerable in this position; he could easily grip your small frame too tightly, or press his fingers into your throat, but he continues to feel your life force and hum with satisfaction. Your eyes begin to flutter shut, more comfortable than you have been in quite a while.

He moves his hand from your neck, traces his fingers along your collarbone, and tangles his hand up into your hair. Your Commander lets go of your abdomen briefly, only to turn you around to face him. You press your head into his chest, hoping that some of his scent will rub off onto your shirt. He's intoxicating in every way imaginable.

He tugs at your hair gently, urging you to look up at him. "That's right," he praises, "look at me." He runs his fingers along your scalp before tightening his grip again.

He makes contact with your parted lips. He kisses in short, aggressive bursts, pulling back for a moment and then returning to you. His teeth scrape against your bottom lip. No longer able to contain himself, he bites down. You let out a surprised gasp. He maintains the pressure, swallowing a groan. And then he relents, allowing you to recover.

Satisfied, he pulls his lips away from your own and rests his chin on top of your head, exhaling.

He removes his hand from your hair and pulls away from you completely, looking you over one final time before exiting your room. "Good night."

You stand in your room, knees buckling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's that time again. it's time for an Update


End file.
